Bumble's blog: England can rewrite history in Perth
Bumble blogs on England's chances at the WACA and an off-field confrontation with Michael Vaughan.
Last Updated: 12/12/13 2:29am
What I've never got is that it takes three hours 20 minutes to fly there but I'll have only have been travelling for half an hour. As Beefy says, when you're going through time zones you can drink as much as you want because when you get there you're stone cold sober. I think he's put that to the test a few times!
It's sort of an English place, Perth. It's wide open and a lot of English people settle there because it's the nearest Australian city to them.
It'll be a bouncy, fast pitch at the WACA but there's nothing new there. England will know what to expect but they have a shocking record there. All the stats point to 3-0 Australia but sport is so funny and I've got a feeling that we can win, and I'd be thrilled if we can get something out of this Test.
There will be jet-lag for the England players. This is one of those quirky journeys where you do get jet-lag so they'll need to adjust before getting on their bike again.
England are 2-0 down and they have got to come up with some sort of solution. Having been in that situation before and chatting to Mike Atherton this morning - who has also been there - it's difficult to relay to the public that yes we do care, they are better than us and we've got to come up with some answers.
I've got every faith in these lads that they're working their socks off to try and put things right. We've got to pick the right team, and I've got no idea what that is, but I'd expect Chris Tremlett to play.
There's talk of a heatwave in Perth but that's total nonsense. You come to Australia and you know what it's going to be, hot! That's how it is and that's why you acclimatise and come early.
I've got plenty of selection decision to make myself in Perth, where I'll be managing the England Media XI against Australia Media XI in the traditional football match on Thursday night. As always, you get a game like this and you get disruptions.
Michael Vaughan has gone to the press over the last few days and I don't like that. I keep everything in my dressing room, I'm the manager and Vaughan has apparently gone to the press and said he's not playing unless he's captain. He needs to understand that I pick the team and it's as simple as that. I might not even pick him now.
No man is bigger than the team and my managerial style of Pep Guardiola and Barry Fry will deal with individuals like Vaughan. I might offload him in January!
We lost 5-1 last time but I wasn't in charge then so I'm expecting a better performance. We'll be a tight unit. I've got my plans, I've got my white board showing the players exactly what I expect.
I'm giving Paul Newman of the Daily Mail a marauding full-back role but he can only maraud once so I'm only giving him three minutes. Dean Wilson of the Mirror is in goal because he's the fattest, I've got Lawrence Booth, editor of Wisden, who apparently plays in glasses, to play the Edgar Davids role, Gideon Brooks of the Express is centre half alongside Ollie Holt, my captain.
In central midfield is Sky Sports' very own Sean Boyle. He seems to have been training most mornings, but unfortunately at three o'clock!
I've got Vaughan supposedly upfront and David Saker, the England bowling coach, in that Carlos Tevez role and I've told him I want him to work the channels.
I'm expect a good performance from them and England. Don't give up just yet back home, there's still a lot of cricket to be played.
Watch day one of the third Ashes Test between Australia and England from 2am on Sky Sports 2 on Friday morning.