Ben - Sky Sports Expert

Bluebirds off the Boyle

Posted: 23rd November 2009 16:19

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Bluebirds off the Boyle
Football is often called the beautiful game. What I watched in Barnsley on Saturday was as beautiful as Susan Boyle jelly wrestling Boris Johnson.

Cardiff City FanZoner Ben Dudley
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Football is often called the beautiful game. What I watched in Barnsley on Saturday was as beautiful as Susan Boyle jelly wrestling Boris Johnson. An utterly dire game between two poor sides, in conditions that were more suited to Noah and a very big boat than a game of football.

Losing to Swansea last week was frustrating, but they are a good team and will do well this season. Losing to Barnsley was infuriating, and the City players will not have enjoyed the walk to the tunnel directly beside the large travelling support. A barrage of deserved abuse was given to a number of the players, but did not go far enough in my opinion.

Warren Feeney and Mark Hudson should have been given leaflets on finding a new job, Joe Ledley should be shown a DVD of himself from two years ago to show the kind of player he can be, and nearly everyone should be given a replacement backbone, as the squad seems to be leaving theirs behind on the coach week after week.

Outsiders looking in may think I am being overly critical, as well as my CCMB fan club. After all, we are fifth in the league. However, the league is of such a poor quality this season that my University team would probably finish mid-table.

We have the quality to destroy teams in this league (as we have done to Watford, Derby, Bristol City and Scunthorpe), which makes it all the worse when we serve up such pathetic displays. We have gone from serving up a Michelin Star feast to a free school dinner, and it is inexcusable.

Massive loss

Jay Bothroyd is a simply massive loss for us, without him we are like a boxer with no hands trying to take on David Haye. If he stays fit for the rest of the season we will finish in the top six, without him we are likely to be outside the top half. I pray to God, Buddha, Allah, Ganesh and Robert Earnshaw that he doesn't leave in January, or we're in more trouble than I can even make up a simile for.

The only highlight of the day at Barnsley was the repeated chanting of Stephen McPhail's name. McPhail is currently undergoing treatment for an early stage of cancer and I speak for every City fan when I wish him all the best. He has shown bravery and determination before in coming back from last years derby disappointment to have a great season so far this year, and we are all looking forward to seeing him back where he belongs in the heart of our midfield. Good luck Steve.

It was such a bad performance that it immediately wins a spot in my top five worst away days ever. The result and shocking weather was added too by my train breaking down at Leeds train station about 10 minutes from my house for an hour, and the woman standing next to me failing to reach a toilet in time and the puddle inching horrifying closer to me each time the train went round a corner. I managed to escape in time, but I feel for anybody who went the whole way to Knaresborough.

For anybody interested, the revised top five worst away trips is as follows:

  • 1.Sheffield Wednesday 1 - 0 Cardiff City. Play-offs missed. Knuckles broken punching wall. General awfulness.

  • 2.Preston 6 - 0 Cardiff City. If you can't work out why this one was bad, try a new sport.

  • 3.Sunderland 2 - 1 Cardiff City. Not a particularly bad result, as Sunderland were to go up that season. However I left my coat behind on the coach, and was so cold that I could have hugged a penguin and given it Pneumonia.

  • 4.Swansea 3 - 2 Cardiff City. We lost to Swansea.

  • 5. Crewe 1 - 1 Cardiff City. We sent Crewe down. That's just mean, everyone likes Crewe.

A lot more to choose from and positions 3 - 5 could probably change if I did more research and less watching of cartoons, but it's a Sunday so I'll stick with the above.

Of all the games listed, yesterday was probably the worst footballing spectacle. Both sides were very poor, we were just a deflected free kick and a needless handball from Mark 'Job Centre' Hudson worse. How we paid a million pounds for this man makes me want to vomit with rage. The money would have been better spent on 100000000 fizzy cola bottles.

Our next five games include Middlesbrough, Leicester, Preston and West Brom, and this makes me want to cry like a child who has just dropped their ice cream. If we play as we have been doing in recent weeks, we will be lucky to get one point from these four games.

In even worse news for City fans, I am a jinx and will be going to all of these games apart from Preston. We're pretty much doomed.

Still, at least we're not Wigan...

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