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Gone for a Burton

Tom Reed takes a trip down a beer-soaked Memory Lane

Posted: 04th February 2010 14:30

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Gone for a Burton

Cheers: Northampton celebrate

According to urban legend bike-riding, steamroller enthusiast Adam Hart-Davis, was, back in the early eighties, one of the top boys of the West Ham Inter City Firm.

Northampton FanZoner Tom Reed
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The Cobblers drew 1-1 with Burton Albion on Saturday. Burton has always been an upstart kind of place, they've got a history of throwing spanners in a variety of works.

Back in the 1800's the "Burtonisation" of the brewing industry, with which Burton is now synonymous, killed off the fashion for porter beer in London. Apparently, porter, drunk by the barrel full by thirsty river porters on the Thames, was originally a cloudy mixture of old stale ale, that had been sitting in the pub for weeks, brown and mild ale, mixed together with a copper spoon held between the buttocks of a sow.

Now how dare these fools from Burton come up with a clean crisp bitter, that didn't leave you on the bog for three days after drinking it with a hangover that feels like you've got the restless souls of the victims of the Black Death wailing inside your skull? How very dare they!

Against the Cobblers, naturally, they didn't play ball and let us charge on in our relentless quest towards the play-offs. Actually, they did play ball, rather well in fact, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that they were equal on points with us going into the game.

This didn't matter to our fans however, who treat all teams in League Two the same... "hoofball merchants" the lot of them. "You'll always be non-league" they chanted at the Burton fans in unison. I bet that's what the porter brewers in London thought of their Burton counterparts, as they marvelled smugly at their half-million gallon vats!

If you're wondering how I know so much about the history of brewing, it's because I watched a programme about London's industrial past on the History Channel. The documentary, fronted by "lovable eccentric" (oddball) Adam Hart-Davis, wittily titled How London Was Built examined the capital's brewing heritage.

The most interesting feature of this show was its focus on the "Great Beer Flood" of 1814, where a massive vat of the aforementioned porter exploded in the Meux Brewery, flooding over a million litres of beer into nearby slum streets in the parish of St Giles.

Apparently eight people were swept to their death by the torrent of booze, whilst after the tide had fallen, a mob of thirsty liquor looters arrived to drink from the overflowing gutters. At least one person was recorded to have died from alcohol poisoning, days later.

Now if you're wondering what on earth this has to do with football then I'll tell you. According to urban legend, the presenter of said documentary, bike-riding, steamroller enthusiast Hart-Davis, was, back in the early eighties, one of the top boys of the West Ham Inter City Firm.

Apparently the lads in the firm used to turn a blind eye to his propensity to go on about penny farthings and the East End matchgirl strike of 1888 because he had once proved himself by arming himself with nunchucks and defending the doorway of a West Ham pub from a mob of marauding Chelsea fans.

Conniving

Now things fell foul around 1985 when Hart-Davis turned up to a meet with the Millwall Bushwackers at London Bridge driving a three-wheeled bicycle, wearing a yellow Peruvian poncho, blue Kenyan bushman trousers and bright red slip-on shoes.

Anyway, I digress, back to the matter of Northampton versus Burton Albion. Those dastardly, conniving so-and-so's from oop North! Like I mentioned, they didn't let us win, which was most upsetting and could have even won themselves. Shaun Harrad caused no end of problems and scored with a power-whack volley in the 53rd minute.

Northampton's reply came from head on a stick Andy Holt, who settled the nerves of a crowd pining for the injured Adebayo Akinfenwa by rifling in a cross-shot past Polish keeper Artur Krysiak.

It was perhaps a little cruel on a well-organised and up for it Burton side but considering their town's strangling of the porter industry they deserve everything they get. For the Cobblers, one very bright note came with the introduction of Kevin Thornton on 56 minutes. He looks a player and could have snatched the game late on with a swerving free kick which hit the bar.

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