It's like Armageddon out here in Johannesburg. I've never seen rain like it!

We've had thunder, lightning and rain all day and all night. The ground is completely underwater and apparently it's going to be heavier on Friday so I'm not expecting much cricket.

I saw some of the England boys in the gym and they don't think there's much chance of play. I can't really put into words how much it has rained; the locals have never seen anything like it... and it's supposed to be summer!

Broad: at least he saw some proper wildlife...

At least it might give the England boys a little bit more time to recover from their injuries. I hope they're just niggles because you don't want long-term injuries coming into a tough tour like this.

I can't explain why so many of them are injured. My theory is that they've started doing some strenuous conditioning and gym work that they've not done previously. That might twang a thing or two.

I might be totally wrong - and I'll be glad if someone tells me I'm talking rubbish.

Club life

Don't worry if the cricket is rained off because we are currently in the middle of one of the most exciting golf series in history: Hussain vs Lloyd.

Nass beat me at the last on Tuesday and is one-up as we speak. However, I'm blaming the monkey that pinched my sausage for putting me off.

We were at halfway house in the restaurant and I was eating one of those Boerewors that are very popular out here. Suddenly a monkey came charging in and nicked a load of sugar off the table and my sausage!

I was quite rattled by that and it's clearly the reason I lost...

We also played a doubles match. Our production manager Roger Chambers went on Nasser's team, while I was saddled with Nick Knight.

Unfortunately Nick doesn't really know how to play golf. He played right-handed and I'm convinced he should play left-handed. We didn't stand a chance!

Anyway, keep an eye on the video blogs. Myself, Nasser and Nick have decided to insult each other as much as possible during the series...

Driven to succeed

Myself, Nasser and Beefy also were invited by a chap called Rob Dalton from Sun City to a fundraising golf day in association with the Jockey's Association.

There's a huge race meeting called the International Jockeys' Challenge at Turffontein on Saturday which sees South African jockeys taking on international riders like Mick Kinane, Richard Hughes, Seb Sanders and Frankie Dettori. It's a huge occasion over here and the place is packed.

So we did the two-hour drive from Johannesburg to Sun City to meet them and we were right out in the Bush. Even though we were in the heart of Safari country, all I saw was some donkeys and some goats!

Hussain is the designated driver for these trips. He hasn't been charging me petrol yet, but I'm expecting an invoice at some point in the future.

On the way up to Sun City we were pulled in at a regulation checkpoint and Hussain had to produce his driving licence.

A lady proceeded to chat away at him in Afrikaans - and of course Nasser stood there nodding away as if he understood!

Anyway, on the way back I spotted a Harley Davidson superstore, so I scooted off there. I had a great time sitting on bikes for two hours!

They're far more expensive here than in the UK. The same can be said for clothes. I fancied a jacket in one of the shops but decided better of it when I was told the price.

Six hundred and sixty quid??!! No wonder he wasn't selling very many of them...

Golden deal

One thing that has finally sold is the golden tie!

I know the lady who bought it for £300 on eBay and she's a really nice lass, a big Kent follower. I'm thrilled that she's got it.

That has inspired The Brigadier, who is now planning to put his own autograph on eBay.

Keep an eye out for that, I'm sure it will sell for huge money...

Bumble answers your questions...

Send your questions to Bumble by filling in the feedback form below. Or you can mail them in by e-mailing skysportsclub@bskyb.com

SOUTH AFRICA STARS
Hi Bumble, you played in an era when South Africans could not play test cricket so how highly would you rate some of your South African contemporaries in comparison with greats such as Richards, Chappell, Lillee, Gavaskar, etc. Shaun Dyer

BUMBLE SAYS: Barry Richards, Mike Proctor, Graeme Pollock... wonderful cricketers. The short answer to the question is they were right up there, whether or not they were playing international cricket. If we move on to the modern day, I'm a massive fan of Graeme Smith, who is a great leader and a truly solid bloke. I have great admiration for him. The day after England beat South Africa, he came over to me at breakfast and we had a good chat and a laugh.

To be fair, the likes of Daniel Vettori and Sachin Tendulkar are all the same, rock-solid blokes. There's one or two dipsticks but I won't name them. Yonks ago the likes of myself had a fleeting glance at being custodians of the game and now it's their turn. I think the game's in good hands.

THE JOY OF X
Looks like the commentators curse has struck again. You back Phil Tufnell and he gets voted out! Could you please do the same for the terrible John and Edward on X-Factor. Thanks, Craig.

BUMBLE SAYS: I know that Tuffers has gone out, I didn't realise Jedward were still in. The consensus over here is that Tuffers had got as far as he could. I'm probably more of an X-Factor fan than Strictly though. I quite like Daniel, even though it's not my type of singing at all. I just wonder how far Mark E Smith would get if he went on. If you bloggers don't know who he is, get yourself on YouTube, there's nobody like him. In fact, he's probably too good for X-Factor...

Bumble's jukebox

Last week the lyrics came from Parisienne Walkways by Thin Lizzy (or Gary Moore... whatever). Even The Brigadier managed to get it right so well done. See how you get on with these ones..

"Got to race some cat to bed..."

Speak to you next week!

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