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Universally speaking

Who needs words when you've got football, says Max.

Last updated: 18th August 2009

Max: fluent in football

It's a cliché to say that football is the universal language, but it's a cliché for a reason.

Max Rushden.
Quotes of the week

Hello all. Nice to be back and good to have got show one out the way.

I think it's a bit like being a professional footballer (without the innate natural ability, intense pre-season training, million pound transfers and quite a lot of other things). We get the whole summer off, and by the time we come back - none of us can quite remember exactly how or what we did last year.

But that doesn't really matter if you get Ossie Ardiles on the show - one of the few people on earth to have a World Cup winner's medal. It was a genuine privilege to talk to a man who was such a brilliant footballer.

It was also interesting for me, as I spent the summer in South America - and a lot of time in Buenos Aires, where I've got family, and where Ossie spent much of his career playing football.

Small talk

It was useful on Saturday, cos I had some good small talk for him - occasionally in an ad break I look at the random selection of people on the sofa and think 'what the hell can I talk about?', but with Ossie, it was a great ice-breaker.

Being in South America made me realise just how big football is over there. That sounds so obvious, but it's a fact. It's a cliché to say that football is the universal language, but it's a cliché for a reason.

I think sometimes we get so consumed with our football, that we forget quite how important it is all over the world, so by the time we get to, say a World Cup we think England has a divine right to win it, without thinking quite how good other players are, and quite how passionate other nations are. Certainly I've fallen into that trap in the past.

But from the moment I arrived in Lima, the capital of Peru, football was the first thing I talked about. My Spanish is pretty terrible, but my taxi driver understood when I started talking about Nobby Solano - the only Peruvian footballer I could think of.

In Brazil, playing on Copacabana beach in Rio and going to the Maracana (Adriano played. He's a bit fat and slow now) - made me realise why Brazilians have such good control, and why they always have to beat a man before playing the ball.

Strikes

There was one day on my trip which really summed up that whole universal language thing. I was travelling between two cities in Peru. The whole nation had been disrupted massively by strikes (it seems in Peru, one group or another are on strike every day). Bridges had been ripped up, rocks and tree trunks placed across roads, and whole towns closed down.

So we got to this town, they stopped our bus, and told us we couldn't go on, couldn't go back and just had to stay where we were. I think it was the first time I've been held hostage.

That does make it sound a little drastic - and we weren't really in any danger, but we were basically being held, against our will, by the leaders of this town. We were told not to get off the bus, just in case it got violent. So we were just sitting there doing nothing. It wasn't a particularly tense situation - but we didn't really have a clue what was going on.

There were loads of Peruvian kids about, and it was a beautiful day - and eventually me and a couple of other guys decided to get off the bus and see what was going on. We asked the kids if they had a football. Immediately one of them shot off on a bike, and we put down some jumpers in the square.

Draw

And so it began, England (3 grown men) vs Peru (maybe 20 kids). We got off to a flyer, 1-0 early on, and the game finished 1-1. A creditable draw given the numbers.

By the time we'd finished, the adults in the town agreed to let the bus carry on its journey, on the condition they could paint anti-government slogans on the bus. We were happy with that. It was a blood red paint - which complimented the cream finish.

Look, I don't know if the fact we played football with the kids was the deciding factor in letting us through - but there's no doubt it relaxed the situation. It's hard for a group of adults to stay angry with you if you're entertaining their children. And there's no way we could have done that if it wasn't for football.

So in conclusion. Football is a good thing. But I guess you knew that anyway.

Have a good week - and all the best to your team this season.

Cheers,

Max