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Tigers are Gr-r-reat!

Hull give us all a little hope

Last updated: 13th October 2008

All the experts keep repeating that 'it can't last', but what if it does last? What if Hull break into the top 4? And then win the Champions League? And then the super club cup thing or whatever it is? And then the world Cup? I've got my fingers crossed.

Max Rushden
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So after last weeks column the boss said I should perhaps write something about proper football. Well I'll start with that, and then write about what I want to write about.

1. Proper football

On Saturday it was great to chat to Hull's Craig Fagan, not just cos he's a really nice bloke - but also because Hull City are the best thing that's happening in the Premier League right now.

How brilliant to win at Arsenal and Spurs in consecutive weekends. I think the reason I'm enjoying their success so much is because, in some tiny, and unrealistic way - it makes me think that one day, Cambridge could get there - and win games. Yes Hull are a bigger side in a bigger city, but I wouldn't be surprised if fans of other smaller teams are revelling in Hull's start.

Not only that - player's currently in League 2 can look at the likes of Ian Ashbee and Michael Turner and say I might, one day, compete in the top division. All the experts keep repeating that 'it can't last', but what if it does last? What if Hull break into the top 4? And then win the Champions League? And then the super club cup thing or whatever it is? And then the world Cup? I've got my fingers crossed.

2. How to be like a professional footballer

So my team, Polytechnic 6s, got their first win of the season on Saturday - 3-2 at Old Westminster Citizens. The ref looked like Mr Bean and I didn't score, but put in a 'good old fashioned centre forward' shift, just heading it a lot really.

Now there aren't many ways I can impersonate a pro when I'm playing. I'm quite slow and I'm not particularly fit. BUT there is one way, average village players can feel like pros. It's simple. Wait til your side is winning and then just take the ball into the corner and stand on it.

I did it twice on Saturday. My team-mates were more interested in me crossing it in or passing it. But I felt like a real footballer as I ambled to the corner flag, trying to keep the ball away from the increasing number of defenders who were trying to hook it from underneath me.

Now it is a dangerous tactic, as you can't see what's behind you, and normally it's only a matter of time before their nutter centre back launches himself into your midriff, but it's a risk worth taking. Fortunately the opposition were nice and no one tried to kill me. So if i'm not going to score this season (so far 3 games, 0 goals), at least I can roll the ball into the corner. I've been told I can't do it til the second half - which I suppose is fair enough.

3. Shoes

After such a great victory I had the chance to celebrate cos Saturday night was James' (Brown Coat Man) 21st birthday. Sounded fun. Clubbing in St Albans. I didn't know St Albans had clubs. The only time I'd been there previously was to see my parent's friends Paul and Sylvia when I was little. Sylvia made good biscuits.

Anyway, I was out in London with some friends but around 9pm, got on a train to St Albans. I met a mate who lives up there for a beer and decided to get to the club (I think it's called Batchwood) around half 10pm - fashionably late. Only then did I find out that the taxis were on strike in St Albans, which was bad luck. So I started walking in the vague direction of the club with my thumb out and eventually hitched a ride with an off duty cabby (I liked the irony).

I've no idea what time it was by the time I arrived, but the bouncer had one look at my trainers and said 'you're not coming in with them mate'. Now I don't go to clubs much. And normally, they're small ones where trainer wearing is positively encouraged (they're much better to dance in than shoes). Anyway, I was standing in the rain explaining to the bouncer it'd been quite a mission to get here in the first place, and if I could just go and buy James a drink I'd happily go on my way.

James came outside, and Steve, Tubes and Yemo arrived. They were sad for me. I explained to them that sometimes life isn't fair, and we should all learn from it.

I was just about to go home, when a man called Phil walked out of the club. I can't remember who suggested it, but I ended up buying his shoes for £20. He left with my size 10 trainers - his shoes were enormous - like boats. I can't imagine the blisters he's got now, but I managed to get in. Happy days.

Also thanks to Steph, Ali and another guy, who gave me a lift home via London Colney McDonald's. I'll remember my shoes next time.