By Chris Burton Last updated: 2nd December 2008
With a certain time of year fast approaching, society would have us believe that 'tis the season to be jolly.
Unfortunately for our pampered Premier League stars, not everyone appears to be buying into the festive spirit.
Perhaps tedious afternoons spent trawling around Primark with the missus in desperate search of the ideal present for a long-lost aunty has seen Christmas cheer ebb away from exasperated supporters across the country.
Unable to take their frustrations out on said spouse, for fear of having to spend the holiday season in a Holiday Inn, these luckless souls instead pour scorn on highly paid professionals who probably hired a personal shopper to buy, wrap and send their gifts this year.
I appreciate that I may be slightly wide of the mark here, and a more logical explanation for a shabby week of ratings is that there were few displays which caught the eye.
Three goalless draws and only one game settled by more than a solitary goal either way would suggest that entertainment was thin on the frost covered ground.
It would appear that only the very extremities of the country had something to shout about as November came to a close.
In the North East, the Stadium of Light saw Bolton put four past a hapless Sunderland defence while, down on the South Coast, Fratton Park bore witness to a five-goal thriller between Portsmouth and Blackburn.
Moving swiftly on, and it is within these contests that we find this week's ratings loser - with no prizes for guessing which side bore the brunt of fan frustration.
A dismal showing from the Black Cats on home soil helped pile the pressure on Roy Keane's buckling shoulders, while doing little to lift the sombre mood which has drifted in off the River Wear in recent weeks.
While it may seem slightly unfair to single out certain individuals at this stage, when in all honesty the Sunderland starting XI were all as bad as each other, I am afraid I must draw attention to the shambolic showings of Nyron Nosworthy, Phil Bardsley and Danny Collins.
Average scores of 3.1 for Nosworthy and Bardsley would usually be enough to see them take the wooden spoon, but they are pipped to the post by Collins - who scored six from our reporter, and three from an unimpressed interactive fanbase.
While it should come as no consolation to the trio, they can at least take heart from the fact that they were by no means alone in enduring a weekend to forget.
Blackburn midfielder Keith Andrews (3.4) has become a regular in this review of late and appears to have been hit hardest by Rovers' recent woes, while Nicolas Anelka (3.8) looked anything but the Premier League's top marksman during Chelsea's defeat to Arsenal on Sunday.
David N'Gog scored just 3.8 after stepping off the bench in Liverpool's insipid stalemate with West Ham on Monday and Darius Vassell (3.8) was virtually anonymous during Manchester City's derby defeat at Eastlands.
Fortunately, there were a few outings this week which managed to escape the wrath of disgruntled Scrooges and instead had fans pouring another glass of mulled wine.
Everton defender Phil Jagielka was a rock at the heart of the Toffees' defence during their 1-0 success at rejuvenated Tottenham, with the England international handed a nine by our reporter and 8.6 from merry Merseysiders.
Park Ji-sung may not always receive the recognition he deserves while surrounded by Manchester United's galaxy of stars, but the Korean winger was handed an average rating of 8.3 by jubilant Red Devils on Sunday.
A two-goal salvo to steal the points at fortress Stamford Bridge would be expected to push Arsenal's Robin van Persie close to our weekly summit - and the Dutchman just misses out on top spot after being awarded eight and 8.9.
It is, therefore, Wigan winger Antonio Valencia who takes the perch at the top of the ratings chart.
The Ecuadorian ace helped inspire the Latics to a come-from-behind success at home to West Brom on Saturday and secured an impressive score of 9.2 as a result.
South American flair probably represents the perfect note on which to end this feature, but I cannot sign off without drawing attention to Rob Carragher's view of Benoit Assou-Ekotto's performance for Spurs against Everton.
Our man looking in at White Hart Lane gave the Cameroonian full-back a respectable eight following a hard-working performance against the Toffees.
However, an average score of 5.4 from the watching world would suggest that the African ace was not quite as effective as Mr Carragher would have us believe - and suggests our writer could do worse than ask Santa for a new pair of glasses come 25th December!

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| Time | Fixture |
|---|---|
| Saturday 15th August | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| 15:00 | Aston Villa vs Wigan |
| 15:00 | Blackburn vs Man City |
| 15:00 | Bolton vs Sunderland |
| 15:00 | Chelsea vs Hull |
| 15:00 | Everton vs Arsenal |
| 15:00 | Man Utd vs Birmingham |
| 15:00 | Portsmouth vs Fulham |
| 15:00 | Stoke vs Burnley |
| 15:00 | Tottenham vs Liverpool |
| 15:00 | Wolverhampton vs West Ham |
| Tuesday 18th August | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| 19:45 | Birmingham vs Portsmouth |
| 19:45 | Burnley vs Man Utd |
| 19:45 | Fulham vs Blackburn |
| 19:45 | Hull vs Tottenham |
| 19:45 | Sunderland vs Chelsea |
| 19:45 | Wigan vs Wolverhampton |
| Wednesday 19th August | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| 19:45 | Liverpool vs Stoke |
| Saturday 22nd August | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| 15:00 | Arsenal vs Portsmouth |
| 15:00 | Birmingham vs Stoke |
| 15:00 | Burnley vs Everton |
| Time | Result |
|---|---|
| Sunday 24th May | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| Aston Villa 1 - 0 Newcastle | |
| Blackburn 0 - 0 West Brom | |
| Hull 0 - 1 Man Utd | |
| Man City 1 - 0 Bolton | |
| Sunderland 2 - 3 Chelsea | |
| Fulham 0 - 2 Everton | |
| Arsenal 4 - 1 Stoke | |
| West Ham 2 - 1 Middlesbrough | |
| Wigan 1 - 0 Portsmouth | |
| Liverpool 3 - 1 Tottenham | |
| Monday 18th May | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| Portsmouth 3 - 1 Sunderland | |
| Sunday 17th May | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| Chelsea 2 - 0 Blackburn | |
| West Brom 0 - 2 Liverpool | |
| Saturday 16th May | |
| Barclays Premier League | |
| Newcastle 0 - 1 Fulham | |
| Bolton 1 - 1 Hull | |
| Stoke 2 - 0 Wigan | |
| Middlesbrough 1 - 1 Aston Villa | |
| Tottenham 2 - 1 Man City | |
| Everton 3 - 1 West Ham | |
| Man Utd 0 - 0 Arsenal | |
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Comments (1)
Dancin Boy says...
If Valencia was the best player in the prem this weekend it's a very poor league! (wigan fan)
Posted 21:00 2nd December 2008