Quotes of the week

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Another eventful week in the sporting world has provided a healthy dose of entertaining quips. Leading the way this week is Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard, who has questioned the fun-factor in the life of his Anfield boss. Elsewhere, Charlie Nicholas gets all emotional and Graeme Swann attempts to talk up England's chances of upsetting the odds at the ICC Champions Trophy.

"Rafa [Benitez] will make a point, and you'll be thinking, 'has this guy not got a life?' because it seems so minor, but it is what sets him apart." Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard contemplates inviting his Spanish coach out for a night on the tiles.

"When I was on the touchline all I could hear was Benitez giving me directions. At times I'd think 'why don't you just put the batteries in and turn me into a robot'." Safe to assume that former Reds winger Jermaine Pennant will not be joining Stevie and Rafa down the local.

"I never ask Wayne [Rooney] how an England trip was. I know how it is. I have done it 89 times. I am passionate as ever about extending my time with England. I'm not past it." Manchester United striker Michael Owen is adamant that he still has international pedigree, although whether Fabio Capello agrees with him is another matter.

"I am confident that the club's finances will be fully stabilised over the next few weeks and we can move the club forward." New Portsmouth owner Sulaiman Al Fahim promises much, but the Fratton Park faithful are unlikely to hold their breath.

"His (Berbatov's) touch is as gentle as silence sometimes when he takes it out of the sky." Charlie Nicholas gets all soppy while watching Manchester United's mercurial Bulgarian forward in action.

"I think that Paul Scholes is an easy target for the referee, without doubt." Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson appears to have forgotten that the reason his midfield general is such an easy target is because he can't tackle.

"Arsenal have wonderful players but will they be better than Manchester United or Chelsea this season, or even Liverpool? I don't think so." Fulham skipper Danny Murphy writes Arsene Wenger's pre-match team talk for him ahead of Arsenal's 1-0 win at Craven Cottage.

"I hope to stay here. It depends not only on me. But I can say that, after three months here, I hope to stay a long time." Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti is refusing to push his luck given the recent track record of those in charge at Stamford Bridge.

"There probably was a bit of bitching about it but Phil Brown's the manager and the players respected that. He makes the decisions. There's no way he lost the dressing room." Michael Turner, now of Sunderland, claims Hull City boss Phil Brown in no way made a rod for his back with his very public dressing down of his players against Manchester City last term. We believe you Michael, but I think there may be a few who don't.

"We are on the up against Australia. The last time we played them we hammered them." Ahead of the ICC Champions Trophy semi-finals, Graeme Swann chooses to gloss over the six crushing defeats handed out to England by their Aussie counterparts in ODI's this summer.

"There's a great saying in Northern England: You don't go around the houses to get down to the town. You need to say it as it is. If the batting's crap, then say it's crap." David 'Bumble' Lloyd does not share Swann's lofty verdict on England's chances in South Africa.

"Colly did say to me that if he had been given out for it he would only have had himself to blame for being dozy." Andrew Strauss reflects on the moment Paul Collingwood wished he had been a bit kinder to New Zealand during his days as England one-day captain.

"During this tournament we were forced to play five specialist bowlers and none of them are particularly good batsmen." India skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni endears himself to his team-mates.

"Driving the 'prancing horse' represents a dream for everyone who does this job and now I have the good fortune to be able to realise that." Is it fair that Ferrari new-boy Fernando Alonso will be gunning for F1 glory next season on horseback when everyone else gets a car?

"At the next few races our approach will be simple: we will try to get pole position and try to win, so it's very straightforward." Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel prefers not to complicate things.

"I'm just going to drive like I have been and hopefully that will be enough." Someone needs to tell Jenson Button that his performances of late have been anything but World Champion calibre.

"I'm in no great rush to join the PGA Tour but the opportunity might not be there forever." Northern Irish starlet Rory McIlory contemplates taking the big bucks on offer in America.

"I'd love to see Catalans make the final but, if I was a betting man, I would be betting on the other team." St Helens coach Mick Potter finds himself unable to refer to bitter rivals Leeds Rhinos by name.

"I've prepared for victory and when I prepare for victory there's only one outcome. I just walk through it, and Friday night I'll be doing exactly that." Prize Fighter hopeful Audley Harrison continues to talk a good game despite doing little in his professional career to suggest he is capable of backing up his promises.

"In 1999, we tried to fight Shane 10 years ago and he turned the fight down and then in 2006 when he fought Fernando Vargas, right after the fight he said he had a toothache and he wanted to go on vacation with his family." Floyd Mayweather Jr questions whether Shane Mosley has the stomach to step in the ring with him.

"It's a bit like trying to win the Champions League and to win the Champions League you go to Man United and I'm probably playing at Wigan at the moment." Bradley Wiggins hints that he may need to leave his Garmin-Slipstream team in order to challenge for Tour de France glory, while upsetting Latics supporters in the process.