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We cast an eye over this weekend's Premier League action and pick out the highlights.
"Gazza used to pinch our clothes" - ex-Everton man Alan Stubbs looks back on his playing days.
Welcome to Wags and Stags where we pit the Barclays Premier League's perfect pairings against each other as they represent their respective clubs in our fun-filled game.
We've trawled squads around the country to select the Premier League stars - and their better halves - to "play" for their clubs in our contest of glitz and glamour.
A couple will represent each team taking part in the Premier League this season and be matched as per their club fixtures in a battle of brains, brawn and beauty.
Click on the match-up and vote for your favourites. We will then see how our Wags and Stags league table compares with the real thing.
Poor old Roque Santa Cruz. Not only does his pretty little face not fit at Manchester City anymore, he's been told he leave on loan in January, but he's also now having his stag credentials brought into question. Super Mario's arrival at Eastlands in the summer looked to be the final nail in Santa Cruz's City coffin and having spotted Balotelli's lady friend looking radiant in the stands in recent weeks, we're sorry to say we're doing likewise and shipping out the affable Paraguayan. Sorry Roque. Balotelli is proving to be quite the character, at least off the field as he's been injured for much of his time in Manchester thus far, with the cocksure Italian always armed with an amusing soundbite. When quizzed by police officers after crashing his car why he had £5,000 in cash in his back pocket he replied 'Because I am rich'. When he's not delivering comedy gold he's often spotted in Manchester's more salubrious hotspots with the delectable Castagnoli, a former Miss Italy finalists who once had her nose fractured by a jealous rival. The pair were recently spotted enjoying some home comforts at San Carlos - an Italian eatery that has long since been a favourite with the city's footballers.
With Rafael van der Vaart the new darling of the White Hart Lane faithful it seems remiss of us not to celebrate the fact by introducing Mrs Van der Vaart to the masses. The uber-WAG par excellence has travelled with her hubby to the Big Smoke and is the perfect replacement for dear old Abbey Clancy, who we're reluctantly granting a sabbatical on the grounds she's expecting her first child. Over the summer, in the WAGs and Stags World Cup in South Africa, Sylvie van der Vaart and her beau stormed their way to the final only to have to settle for a silver medal as Pablo Mouche and Luli Fernandez did what Diego couldn't manage in delivering gold to Argentina. With Rafael proving to be more than affable in his post-match interviews, he does a lot as he's invariably voted man of the match, and Sylvie as beautiful as they come, expect Spurs to build on the sterling work done previously by a Crouch/Clancy partnership. The van der Vaarts have the type of WAG/Stag credentials mere mortals can only dream of, with their wedding beamed out to an adoring Dutch public, live on SBS. How romantic. All they needed was Martin Tyler to exclaim 'and it's live' and the day would have been the fairytale they'd always dreamed of.
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