This week's offering from a sporting world of quotes sees Gazza and Wayne Rooney shoot from the hip.
Whose mouth has made the news this week?
This week's offering from a sporting world of quips and quotes sees Paul Gascoigne and Wayne Rooney shoot from the hip.
"No-one is ever going to be as good as I was." A bashful
Gazza evaluates his ability as a player in a candid interview with
Sky News.
"In the bath yes, it's the easy way out they say, you know, take a few sleeping tablets, nice little warm bath and have a few drinks and just drop. I had just had enough, I had had enough of everything, you know."
Gascoigne discusses his suicide attempt.
"I rang my sister just to say, I am going to run a bath. I think she might have had a clue, I don't know if it was a plea for help but I did have enough anyway so I wasn't bothered. And I just said, look I am in the bath and I will always love you, or something like that, and put the phone down, and I run the bath and I lay in the bath and just felt myself dropping off and I remember just getting ready, like dozing off you know and then the police burst in. About six police dragged us out of the bath."
"I grew up an Everton fan, my whole family are Everton fans and I grew up hating Liverpool. And that hasn't changed."
Wayne Rooney turns up the vitriol ahead of Saturday's game, before having a stinker in a 4-1 drubbing.
"I have said many times in the past that fans who pay their money have a right to voice their opinion." Aston Villa boss
Martin O'Neill, earlier in the week.
"I've always said if you pay your money you can do what you want but that sort of thing doesn't help anybody."
O'Neill on Sunday after Gabriel Agbonlahor was singled out for criticism by the club's 'paying' customers.
"I have got to tell you that is no way to treat him after what he has done here. I can put up with many other things but that was uncalled for and people have short memories."
"If you want me to rule out ever being Manchester United manager I can't. Special clubs need special managers so in theory it could work."
Jose Mourinho continues to be like a dog with a bone when it comes to the United job.
"As far as I know, he is discussing something which he has a chance of winning, but which I have already won five times." A wonderfully dry
Paolo Maldini puts Jose in his place after the Inter boss criticised his San Siro co-inhabitants.
"It was a long European night. I didn't know if it was a game of football or a game of suicide."
Sir Alex Ferguson on United's defeat of Inter Milan in midweek.
"Will I ever play in Italy? Never say never in life. I do gladly travel there, like I did last summer, because there are the most beautiful and sexiest girls in the world."
Cristiano Ronaldo undermines his mother's view that he's the Cliff Richard of football.
"I don't see why I should restrain him. That's just the way he plays and I'm enjoying watching it. Christ, that's what I paid to watch."
Fergie's clearly a fan of the step-overs and white suits.
"I didn't get an Arsenal shirt. No disrespect to them but I didn't really want Aaron Ramsey's shirt. After the Chelsea game I got Jon Mikel Obi's. I only really want the shirts of the big players at the big clubs." Burnley's
Kevin McDonald assesses the respective merits of Ramsey and Mikel.
"How about this? Carlos Tevez, Ji-Sung Park and Patrice Evra are best mates. I don't know how it works. What language do they speak? One is Argentine, one is Korean and the other is French, but they walk around together, they banter with each other. What they have in common, I don't know."
Darren Fletcher refuses to believe football really is the universal language.
"He was smug towards us." Coventry boss
Chris Coleman finds a new adjective to describe the much maligned Steve Bennett.
I went there thinking I could start a new challenge and do well for another less fashionable club and keep it in the Premier League. I was wrong and I put my hands up."
Dave Kitson admits Stoke just isn't fashionable enough for him.
"I cannot and will not control their private life. I'm not a police officer nor am I a father figure. I want to have a very open, direct relationship. Sometimes maybe to hug them a little bit, but the other times I must be tough."
Guus Hiddink considers a bit of tough love towards Ashley Cole. Just wait until Cheryl gets down from that mountain...
"They want to see the team win and playing well and if it doesn't happen it is frustrating. I feel exactly the same thing. When I hear them shout, I can't shout, but inside I am shouting with them: 'Oh no.' Sometimes I see people's faces after another draw and it's like seeing 60,000 mirrors."
Robin Van Persie comes over all artistic again at the Emirates.
"If I'd have had both my eyes the fight wouldn't have ended this way. I couldn't see the guy from the first round, the blood was in my eye and I just couldn't see with it."
Marco Antonio Barrera rues an accidental clash of heads with Amir Khan.
"I shut the critics up," growls
Khan, before retreating back to his corner with: "I hope."
"Rugby means so much in the south of France, too. Normally you'd be ignored as an Englishman there. But when you play rugby they love you."
Dan Luger reflects on his adventure across the channel.
"I think Herbie Hide even went as far as calling me a lanky-looking ostrich - if he was an oil painting himself, I wouldn't mind! He shouted his mouth off, he got offered the fight, but he didn't fight. There's not much more I can say."
Enzo Maccarinelli disputes being a doppelganger for a flightless bird.
"Hopefully Willie Thorne sneaks in and I draw him." Snooker player
Mark Williams hopes for a favourable first round draw.