Tuesday 9 October 2018 14:47, UK
It's been seven months since Elise Christie was carried off the ice in tears at the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang. The former Sky Sports Scholar fell in the 500m, damaged her ankle in the 1500m and was controversially ejected from the 1,000m.
Stuck on the sidelines recovering from smashed ligaments and exhaustion, Christie has had plenty of time to reflect, and although she won't race again until next year, she's back on the ice for the first time since her South Korean misery.
As the current Scholars celebrate one year of Sky support, the 28-year-old triple world champion reveals how the Scholarship boosted her between 2014-2017 and why 'not giving up' means everything.
It's been very tough. My ankle is still really sore and I'm still not fully fit. I started full-time training in July and it also means I'm sleeping all the time when I'm not on the ice which is a nightmare!
I forgot how hard short track was! I'm really enjoying skating again and being stress-free which is nice. I won't be racing for a while but I just need to get rid of my injuries and skate and be happy without any pressure.
We're also having to hold the team together after the skating program lost its funding which I'm devastated about. There's lots to work out but I'm really looking forward to what's next.
Part of me cannot wait to work towards the 2022 Beijing Games and I believe I can still do it. The other part of me just can't believe all that happened at the Olympics in February!
It was worse than last time. Sochi was mostly online abuse and death threats and some of it was my fault. The only thing I hadn't experienced was an injury at a Games. People warn you about injuries and I'd only been stretchered off in training. In South Korea, everything else went wrong. It was devastating.
I can't describe the pain I was in and how it felt to skate with my ankle. It was the worst thing I had ever been through. I experienced a house fire a few years ago but my 500m race was one of the worst moments in my life.
And I battled back to make the 1,000m heats only to be disqualified. Even some competitors told me how much they respected me and that I was their hero! That was nice.
I was aware of some of the home support. I didn't go on social media too much. When I fell on the start line in my last race, I thought about a text from a mum saying how her daughter said I was her hero. I was thinking 'that girl's watching - I can't not get back to the start line because that would be giving up and showing people giving up was OK'.
I'm tough but without that thought process I would never have got back to the start. I've never felt so close to giving up something in my life. My motivation and drive had died. I tried a fast start on a crumpled ankle on a different blade. I tried my hardest to keep out of trouble but I went down again.
It's the same as my career. If I walked away now then I'm not living up to my philosophy about not giving up. I do not have a valid reason to stop.
Kids come up to me in the street and message me saying they are so inspired by me not giving up. I want to inspire, especially girls, because some girls can find school tough. My dream is to open a short track base in Scotland and Wales so they can get into the sport. Hopefully in four years I can carry on inspiring even more.
Being a Scholar will always be a part of me though. When I came home from South Korea, I did all the media and I was with all the medallists initially but wanted to come into Sky to see all my friends!
I really miss being part of the Sky Scholarship. It felt like you had a sporting family outside of short track to support you and was a lovely distraction. It felt you were part of something bigger than speed skating and it was so much fun.
I worked with the Sky Academy and with the kids and you learned, not about skating, but about media, presenting, and how to be more of an adult.
The Scholar team sent me a video after my fall at the Olympics and it had me in tears - it was the nicest thing I'd ever watched and it makes me sad I'm still not a part of it.
I miss it so much and the financial support was great. It just impacted me and my career massively.
