After an eventful flight Phil Edwards arrives in South Africa with the Lions, and the enormity of the task sinks in.
Lions arrive on a wing and a prayer
The best thing that can be said about a ten-hour flight to South Africa is that it isn't a twenty-something-hour flight to New Zealand, crossing umpteen time zones in the process.
In fact you arrive without the full-blown ill-effects of jet-lag, feeling instead as though you might have drunk a bit too much the night before and missed out on a few hours' kip.
Actually, to be brutally honest, the reason you feel this way at Johannesburg airport at 7am is that you really did drink a bit too much the night before, and then missed out on a few hours' kip!
We were on the same British Airways flight as the Lions. The Boeing 747 had been renamed "Air Force Scrum" by somebody at BA's press and publicity department who doesn't get out as much as they used to.
After pushing back from the gate at Terminal 5, we taxied out to the end of the runway and were just about to start our takeoff run when the captain, clearly embarrassed, came on the PA system to inform us that someone hadn't packed the luggage properly and that if we tried to fly we'd probably crash.
This someone had put too many heavy things at one end of the plane, and was shortly to be posted to an airfield in the Outer Hebrides by way of punishment. If only they'd thought of asking Andy Sheridan to go and sit at the back on his own there wouldn't have been a problem!
Fortunately, the chap in charge in the control tower loves his rugby, and after the problem had been sorted out, we were rushed to the front of the queue, passing a South African airways jumbo on the way (hurrah!), so that we could try to make up for lost time.
Air Traffic Control then gave our flight priority status all the way to Johannesburg. How do I know this? Because the captain of the flight is staying in our hotel and told us in the bar that night.
The complex we and the Lions are staying in is a luxurious enclave in a suburb of the city called Sandton. Our hotel is attached to a huge shopping complex with an open area in the middle of it, called Nelson Mandela Square, which is crammed full of top-notch restaurants and the like. Most women you know could quite happily spend the rest of their lives here and not notice the years passing.
Reality check
The thing is, you do feel a little cut off from the real South Africa. On a tour a few years ago, a journalist (who shall remain nameless) challenged the rest of the press pack to get out of their "safe European ghetto" and discover the real Johannesburg.
Unfortunately, just as he was about to lead by example, somebody got shot in the street outside and our friend spent the next two days in his hotel bedroom.
Those of you planning to come out here to support the Lions must know that there are fifty murders a day in South Africa. The beer might be cheap, the food might be cheap, but in some areas of the country, human life is cheap, as well.
On a lighter note, another visitor to our hotel's watering hole last night was the ever charming, ever dapper, Gerald Davies. This is why it's essential to prop up the bar from time to time, in order to conduct top level research with the right movers and shakers.
Gerald told us the Lions management team are delighted at the progress being made ahead of the first match of the tour. In fact they believe they are ahead of schedule. It seems the players are already striking up new friendships and discussing, with a common purpose, the many challenges that lie ahead.
The next hour or so was taken up with misty-eyed talk of the legendary 1971 Lions tour to New Zealand, what it was like to know the inspirational and almost mythical coach Carwyn James, and the essential ingredients for success.
Springboks desperate for revenge
We all agreed that this tour was going to be a huge challenge. The Springboks are desperate for revenge after what happened in 1997. Some of them have even turned down lucrative offers to play in Europe, just so that they could be available for this series.
This time, unlike in 1997, there is only one Test at sea level. The Springboks are also expected to be better organised and better coached than they were when the Lions last passed this way.
However, at the risk of sounding like a total sycophant, all I can say, after talking to G. Davies esquire, is that I cannot think of a better bunch of blokes to be in charge of the 2009 Lions than the current incumbents. I hope to goodness I'm right.
