Simon Veness predicts non-stop drama on Week 16 in the NFL
Friday 20 December 2013 15:04, UK
Introducing Week 16 in the NFL, a tragi-comedy in eight parts (otherwise known as divisions), loaded with drama and full-on theatrics, played on the big stage and with an invitation to this year's Oscars (aka, the play-offs) at stake.
AFC North: With three teams still alive here, this is officially the Scratch, Claw & Bite division, with absolutely nothing guaranteed. It would take a significant miracle for Pittsburgh to scrape in at 8-8 (like Miami, Cincinnati AND San Diego all losing both games), so let's not get too Biblical with the Steelers. But the Bengals and Ravens are definitely engaged in a desperate fight to the finish and, in my book, the reigning champs have a slight edge, and here's why. They will certainly have to be at their post-season best from last term but they will fancy taking advantage of the Pats at M&T Bank Stadium, and that sets up a truly titanic last-week showdown with - Cincy. John Harbaugh's men have proved repeatedly in the past year that they are the team for a winner-take-all occasion and, if they also come through in Paul Brown Stadium on Sunday week, well, it's bye, bye Marv. Baltimore win the division and the DOLPHINS take the final wild card. AFC South: With the Colts in total control, there is nothing to see here, so let's move on. OK, so Indy should finish a comfortable 10-6 and they and the Ravens will host home games in the Wild Card round. AFC West: Like the Steelers, San Diego need an equation of quadratic proportions to reach the post-season, with both of Miami and Baltimore failing to win again this year, so let's not plumb those unlikely depths. That just leaves Denver and Kansas City to scrap over top spot and, with the Broncos having the inside rail with games against Houston and Oakland, they look odds-on to finish in the AFC winner's enclosure. NFC East: Oh boy, what a glorious mess is the once-formidable blue collar division of the NFC. Philadelphia and Dallas are once again locked in a death embrace that only one can escape and you know what? After the way the Eagles D collapsed at Minnesota, I can see them doing it again in the furnace heat of a home visit by Chicago and the trip to Texas. And, as wacky as it seems on the basis of the Cowboys' last two woeful outings, I am going counter-intuitive here and predicting a very Happy Christmas for Jerry Jones, with them edging to a nervy win at Washington and then being the Last Man Standing at home to Philly. Just don't expect much by way of an encore, hey? NFC North: If the East is something of a farce, this little tete-a-tete-a-tete is a production straight out of the M Night Shyamalan playbook - mysterious and impossible to fathom. It also borders on the supernatural in that none of the three survivors actually seems like they want to win the darn thing. But, here's a little inside track - Detroit have a cakewalk of a two-game finale (the Giants and Vikings) and, from being the current odd one out, they can actually leapfrog both Chicago and Green Bay if the latter duo each go 1-1 in the final fortnight, which is probably par for the course hereabouts. NFC South: No debate here - this whole shebang hangs on Sunday's collision of the Saints and Panthers at Bank of America Stadium and, try as I might, with their porous away form (just 3-4 on the road; a rock-solid 7-0 in their Dome home) I can't see New Orleans winning. And that leaves Carolina to enjoy a play-off week with their feet up. NFC West: Poor Arizona. Their record is already good enough to win both the East and North, but this is the new tough-as-nails West and they are going to have to beat BOTH Seattle and San Francisco, and hope either the 49ers or Saints lose twice to snatch a wild card. Don't hold your breath, Cards fans. Meanwhile, the Seahawks romp to a shiny 14-2 record and the 49ers and Saints both fill out the final two spots at 11-5 (and both go on the road to 9-7 division 'winners'!). Simple, huh? Yeah, like THAT'S going to happen after all that we've seen this season. The alternative, Twilight Zone version of events (keeping with our theatrical theme) says: Kansas City win their division, San Diego creep in and it is Jim Harbaugh rather than brother John that lifts the Super Bowl silverware this time. And Bill Belichick starts a song-and-dance act with Peyton Manning. With Manning as the straight man. Thank you, I'll get my coat....
