Not getting the horn

Real supporters should chant, not blow... Bumble blogs on Pakistan's horrible horns and 3D cricket.

Blowing horns is no way to support your team, says Bumble

I don't understand people blowing horns at cricket matches. It's just nonsense. I was at Edgbaston for the Pakistan v Australia Twenty20 matches this week and had to endure the mindless drone coming out of the horns of the Pakistan "supporters". A supporter should be exactly that, somebody who supports the team. These people aren't doing that. They're just saying: "Look at me. I have a horn." I can't see how they're possibly watching the game or taking the cricket in. It's sad because down the years, one of the most emotional experiences in cricket is the sound of thousands of Pakistan fans chanting two words: "PAKISTAN ZINDABAD". Those words translate as "Pakistan Forever" and the raw emotion of that phrase must mean a hell of a lot to the Pakistan players when they're out in the middle. Now that's gone. Instead you've got some idiot blowing a horn. I hope they bring them when they play England. I tell you what, we should hand them out on the way in. It can only make life easier for our players. When an England player hears thousands of committed supporters chanting "PAKISTAN ZINDABAD" they're into you. It makes you vulnerable. Hearing a load of horns means nothing to anybody. You might as well be stuck in a traffic jam on the M6. A few weeks ago I wrote about how I couldn't stand the vuvuzelas at the World Cup (by the way, is that still going on?) and it's the same attitude with these things: "Look at me, I've got the horn." I'm sure plenty of you will write in and tell me how good these things are. Well they're not good and they don't add one iota to the game, not one. It's just people blowing their own trumpet. The bottom line is this: you are what you blow.

A new dimension

So Bangladesh are here again. How we've missed them. We haven't played them for at least a month. But the big interest for this game is the fact Sky Sports are showing it in 3D. I've seen it when they were testing it out and it's absolutely unbelievable. You're sat in front of the telly and you start ducking out of the way of the ball because you think it's coming at you. It's ridiculous. There will be fewer cameras than our standard broadcast, so you won't get every angle covered, but the experience is unreal. If you can find a pub showing it, get yourself along. It's mind-boggling how far we've come from the first TV I ever had. It was black and white and it looked like it was snowing every time you turned it on. We had to put a magnifying glass on the front so we could see the flippin' thing. If you were sat slightly off centre, everybody looked about 12ft tall. Give me 3D glasses any day!

Getting in a spin

England seem to have declared their hand when it comes to spinners for The Ashes. It appears they're going to take Graeme Swann as number one and James Tredwell as number two. The tactics will be that Swann plays and Tredwell comes in if he falls over. It appears there's no room for Adil Rashid or Monty Panesar with a view to playing two spinners at Adelaide or Sydney. So I'm not surprised to see Tredwell replace Swann against Bangladesh this week. There's nothing wrong with giving him some experience. Everybody's doing it at the moment it seems. Australia have been treating the Twenty20 games as a chance to experiment with their whole side. I think they were just drawing lots to see who comes in! Anyway, I expect England to win but they need to be aware that 50-over cricket is Bangladesh's strong suit. Looking down the line-up they've got some good players. They're always looking to spoil someone's party and England are the one team they've never beaten. But I still expect England to do the business.

Those pesky kids!

Finally, it's celebration time at my old primary school, so I went down there this week to chat to the kids. I had a smashing time and they really made me smile. Picture the scene. I'm stood there in front of a couple of hundred primary schoolchildren telling them about how lucky I am to be a cricket commentator: ME: "I used to live in Accrington, but now I get to go all over the world to places like Australia. Who here has been to Australia?" Half of them put their hands up ME: "OK then, who's been to Pakistan?" The other half put their hands up. ME: "So tell me, has anybody been to Sri Lanka?" 56 of them put their hands up. ME: "Er... Trinidad?" Almost all of them put their hands up. ME: "Right. Let's start this again. I used to live in Water Street in Accrington. Does anybody live in Water Street?" 80 put their hands up. Me: "Let's narrow it down then. Does anybody live at 134 Water Street?" About 30 put their hands up. Either they were taking the Mickey out of me or the housing situation in Accrington has got badly out of control! Do you dislike horns at cricket matches? Share your thoughts with Bumble in the feedback form below...