The fat & the furious

Bumble on a poor show at Durham, a wash-out at Rawtenstall and the famous Fattys XI.

Bumble's blog reflects on the good, the bad and the fattys

I think I'm jinxed. Myself and Paul Allott just drove through the pouring rain to Warwickshire to find the game has (unsurprisingly) been called off. It's not the first time that's happened this week... I was at the Riverside on Monday night where they were still allowing people into the ground to get drenched a long time after the game had been cancelled. We knew the match was off two hours before it was due to start, but people were still coming in when we were leaving. They seemed happy to let people buy pies and pints at exorbitant prices and yet then didn't tell them about the postponement until after the scheduled start. Not a word on the tannoy, not a word on the big screen, nothing. I know it wasn't Durham's fault that the game didn't go ahead but I think they could have been a bit more pro-active in letting people know what was going on. The ECB were right to call the game off because Azeem Rafiq hadn't been registered and in my eyes the blame lies fully with Yorkshire. Nasser Hussain was talking nonsense when he said the paperwork is too complicated. There are two pieces of paper to sign - one is the registration document and the other is an agreement to be a good boy and abide by the laws of the ECB. Every other cricketer in the country has done it and I don't like Yorkshire's implication that it was the boy's fault. He doesn't put those documents in an envelope and send them to Lord's, Yorkshire Cricket Club do that. It's their problem and they should be punished.

Rawtenstall wash-out

We were also washed out at Rawtenstall on Sunday when I was due to make my return from injury for Accrington. I knew we were onto a loser when the groundsman turned up with a pair of flippers and a snorkel. We only managed 17 overs under water so we'll have to replay it later in the season. Thanks to David Dawson for the picture you can see on this page, although I'm surprised you got any because I don't think I touched the ball. It's a shame because it would have been a good a game and it would have been a full house if the weather had been alright. As usual, their lads were great and I had a good time with some old mates there afterwards. The chairman at Rawtenstall is a bloke called Brian Payne and I tell you what, he's a right tight git. He locked us in the ground at Rossendale Valley and he would only let us out when we bought him a drink. Bad news on the old hamstrings though. They held up fine during the game, but I think I tweaked them running to the car afterwards. I'll work on it and hopefully it'll be ok when I play again in two or three weeks time.

Young guns

At least there was some cricket played this week. I watched Graham Napier shine for Essex on Tuesday and I thought Dawid Malan was terrific for Middlesex against Lancashire. Nasser Hussain has suggested some of these lads should play a Twenty20 match against the England side and for once I think he's come up with a fantastic idea. I think you'd find that the young guns would turn them over and I'd certainly put two bob on them to beat the England lot. If I was to pick that team I'd throw in the likes of Joe Denly, Michael Carberry, Daweid Malan, Graham Napier, James Foster, Tim Bresnan, Anthony McGrath and Rob Key. That would be a great nucleus for the side. In the meantime, thoughts turn to the Test series and I'm not buying into any of the hype surrounding South Africa. I think England will turn them over and Monty Panesar will be the key.

Some good news

I've been hearing rave reports about The Fall concert which finally went ahead at the Academy in Manchester on June 28. I couldn't make it due to work commitments, but I've hopefully got a bootleg coming my way. Not only did Mark E Smith turn up, but he also managed to get through a 12-song set without sacking any of his band members! It sounds like he was in quite good form after a few liveners in the Lass O'Gowrie pub before they started. I'm also pleased to report that my Scouser mate Darren was back in action after his heart attack last weekend. He made a very good recovery during the week and was back on liquids on Tuesday night. I've heard he left his hospital bed on bricks and he was in the pub trying to shift an ECG Unit. I wonder where he got that from...

Bumble answers your questions...

Send your questions to Bumble by filling in the feedback form below. Or you can mail them in by clicking HERE FAT'S ENTERTAINMENT
We don't have much to cheer about in Derbyshire so what ever happened to the Fattys eleven? I would like to nominate myself as an 18 stone all-rounder. Is there any plans to bring it back? Keep us smiling, Jon Storey. BUMBLES SAYS: The Fattys' XI used to be quite good fun, but we got warned off by one or two of the guys that didn't like being put in it. At 18 stone you'd certainly be in there Jon, but there's no plans to bring it back (I think they thought we went a bit far when we started drawing the tummys on the screen). As a Derbyshire fan, you may remember that John Morris, the current manager, was captain of the Fattys. The likes of Rob Key, Matty Walker and Ian Blackwell, were all involved too. I remember when Blackwell played for England and he wore one of those singlet vests. He looked like Onslow out of Keeping Up Appearances! DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS
Dear Bumble. What about the latest fiasco with the now "drawn " test match involving the ball tampering incident? Never mind the rain!!! Just stay in the dressing room and get a draw. What's your brief on this???? Best wishes. Brian Lawson. BUMBLE SAYS: What a load of rubbish that is. They refused to come out and play and the laws are quite clear - if you do that then the game is handed to the other team. I wish somebody could explain to me how they've arrived at that decision and it sounds to me like politics, nothing more. I think you've hit the nail on the head Brian and quite frankly, I'm staggered by it all. FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Hello Bumble, I was just over from Australia visiting my relatives, we were fortunate enough to be at Accrington v Burnley, in glorious sub zero weather. We all felt your pain and actually heard your hamstring go "ping!" whilst you sprinted after a lucky outside edge. Great to hear you're back to full fitness, hope you can knock it around for a quick 50 or so. By the way, the pies at the canteen at Accrington CC were first rate. Keep up the good work Bumble. Lee Greenhalgh. BUMBLE SAYS: We do pride ourselves on our pies up there. In fact, the food is one of the reasons why I sometimes play and sometimes don't. The Snedster's mother makes the teas and if he doesn't play then we don't get them. He's another hamstring sufferer like myself, although the last time I saw him he was trying to lubricate them better with a gallon of beer. Send your questions to Bumble by filling in the feedback form below. Or you can mail them in by clicking HERE