Bumble's Blog: An Ashes blockbuster starring Ben Stokes and David Warner
Wednesday 8 July 2015 10:05, UK
It’s full steam ahead for the first Ashes Test in Cardiff.
I’ve found out that there’s a direct train service from home to Cardiff Central, which takes less than three hours, and it’s a super run through the country, so I’m going to let the train take the strain.
I should have Michael Portillo there and his ‘Bradshaw’s Guide’. It’s one of the best programmes on tele, is that. I’ve also been watching Timothy West and Prunella Scales go narrow boating – another brilliant programme.
But I digress. It’ll be terrific to hook up again with Ricky Ponting – one of the great players of the modern age - in the Sky Sports commentary box.
It’s going to be a busy summer in there. I’m still waiting to find out if we’ve signed Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson…
Prediction
Everyone’s going to be like Mystic Meg over the next few days and make a prediction so here goes – I think it’s going to be a drawn series. Both teams will need to pounce on the moment and they are both well capable of doing that.
England are second favourites, which is a heck of a good position to be in. If they play that card right all of the pressure is on Australia.
As far as I can see, unless I’ve been on Mars, Australia are doing all the talking. I’m hearing from X, Y, Z that they’re going to target him, that there’s going to be no more ‘Mr Nice Guy’…. Blah, blah, blah.
England have been in Spain minding their own business. I know Trevor Bayliss from his time with Sri Lanka and he’ll know that he’s in for a tough series.
But what he can dwell upon is that England are at home and they’re a pretty tough team at home. The Dukes ball will be an advantage to England because, quite simply, they use it more than anybody else.
Question
Australia must have a terrific attack when they can leave players like Pat Cummins and James Pattinson at home. I think it’s very significant that they’ve brought Ryan Harris and Peter Siddle.
From the outside looking in, you’d question why they don’t rate Cummins and Pattinson as highly as these two older players. The Australian way would be to bring a younger player.
Harris won’t be fit for the first game; I know him and he’s a super fella. Like Siddle he’s well-grounded and that’s what Australia have gone for.
I also really like David Warner – he’s a total one-off. We’ve got our own version in Ben Stokes. They’re two of a kind. I’ll tell you now – these young fellas will mess up but it’s all part of growing up and playing in the Ashes. The bottom line is that they’re both super cricketers.
I’ve heard that Warner is attempting to go tea-total and I’m going the same way – I’m not far off. I’m on a massive health kick and feel a damn sight better.
It reminds me of a dearly-departed pal called CJ, who went to the doctor’s for a check-up. When the doctor asked him how many units of alcohol he drank a week, he thought about it and said 146.
He said that he and the doctor then had a very frank discussion about it and decided that he should carry on as it would be such a shock to the system if he ever stopped.
But I digress. Australia have got an opening batsman in Chris Rogers who says he is going to retire at the end of the series. That always makes me wary and think ‘where’s your ambition?’
Michael Clarke has got a dicky back – can he stand up for five Test matches? That leaves a hole if he doesn’t play. They’ll be desperate to get Harris fit because he clearly isn’t.
Extras
Meanwhile, work continues at Accrington Stanley. We’ve signed about seven new players, which we’re thrilled about, and have just had ‘Operation Clean-Up’ where all the spectators came together and tidied the ground up. We’ve re-seeded the whole surface – it looks absolutely brilliant.
I’ve also arranged for three burger vans to set up at the ground - Big Bernard’s Burgers, they’re called. They’re top quality, absolutely top end.
I’ve just about finished my autobiography, which will be out in early September, published by Simon & Schuster.
I’m really excited about it. It’s bang up-to-date, including the New Zealand series. All it needs now is a blockbuster Ashes ending…
Watch every ball of the Investec Series between England and Australia live on Sky Sports Ashes, starting at 10am on Wednesday.
