Natalie Metcalf gearing up for England return seven months after having daughter but admits to 'mum guilt'

Seven months ago, Natalie Metcalf gave birth to her daughter, Miller, but this month she could step back onto the court for her first competitive match since becoming a mother when England face Jamaica.  

With 86 caps for England, Metcalf is a well-established wing attack for the Roses, but after giving birth she had doubts whether she would ever be able to make it back to competitive netball.

But her motivation has been and remains to be her desire to make her daughter proud and show Miller that she too can do anything as she grows up

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"I think the hardest part would be the mum guilt, I definitely felt quite selfish in wanting to come back to the game quite quickly and I struggled with that," Metcalf said.

"But then a few people said to me that Miller will get the best mum if I'm a happy and healthy mum, and I liked how that was framed rather than me feeling selfish and guilty.

"It was about being a mum, but also a mum going after her previous job and ambition and dream to get back out there on court, which I found does make me a better mum for Miller.

"But I still do get really bad mum guilt when I am at training and your mind sometimes will just drift off for a moment during a session and I'll be like, 'I wonder if she's all right' or 'I wonder how Josh [Metcalf's husband] is doing with her'.

"But I know she's in great hands and she's got an absolute village around her - I massively feel that in my own family, Josh's family and our netball family."

Metcalf revealed that Miller has been coming to England camp with her since she was three months old, and Miller is now starting to recognise people's faces and voices - with team-mates and staff even often requesting some "Miller time".

Before this year, Metcalf was motivated by her own goals and career dreams, but now, she is also driven massively by wanting to make her daughter proud.

"I want to show her that mummy can do it and then I want her to know that she can do it," Metcalf said with tears slowly filling her eyes as she glanced over at Miller.

"I just want Miller to know that you can go after whatever you want, Mummy and Daddy will always back her and support her on that journey.

"It's that sense of wanting to make your daughter proud, and I've never had that feeling before."

Overcoming doubt about returning to the game

Metcalf found returning to netball a challenge both physically and mentally, with the guilt of doing something for herself still affecting her now, despite this being her job.

"Returning to netball was something I was massively passionate in wanting to do and wanted to throw everything into it and give myself the best opportunity to do it," Metcalf emotionally explained.

"But yeah, I definitely had doubts of whether I could do it.

"I think every muscle and joint was screaming at me in lots of different places when I first came back into the environment, and getting back out there it still screams at me now at times.

"Having a baby, it's given me a whole other lease on life and challenging myself and pushing the boundaries.

"I think the female body and what it can do, hearing other mum's stories, like we're just... the female body is just amazing.

"The fact that I've had a baby, had major abdominal surgery, and then just want to get back out there and be part of that community with other mums that have done it, and seeing them achieve that goal is something I'm really passionate about."

Now with it being a very real possibility that she could step into a game again, the reality of what that moment will mean has started to sink in for Metcalf as she dreams of what it may be like.

"It's [stepping back on the court for a game] something I've wanted for a long time," she continued with tears now flowing.

"When I was pregnant, I really missed the game, I missed playing, and would wonder if I'd ever be good enough to get back out there.

"I would watch myself play, like eight weeks after having Miller, and I would be like 'oh look what I used to do' and think maybe one day I'll be able to get back to that.

"So I think I will probably cry during the national anthem [when we play Jamaica], just knowing that Miller's there and wanting to make her proud."

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How Metcalf found out she was pregnant

During the England Roses' 2024 tour to Australia, which the Diamonds won 2-1, Metcalf's life changed suddenly, as this is when she found out she was pregnant, painfully far from home.

Metcalf instantly facetimed her husband, and soon decided she didn't feel comfortable playing at six/seven weeks despite advice suggesting she could play until 12 weeks.

England Netball stated the WA was managing an 'ongoing medical matter' and her spot in the squad was to be replaced by debutant Jess Shaw ahead of the third and final game of the series.

"I quickly shifted my mindset to, okay, you're not playing, so what does your role now look like," Metcalf recounted.

"I'd like to think I've always been a person that wants to empower people around me and help out the next person who's taking over.

"I just went straight into that mindset of helping the WA stepping into that role and wanting them to do a really good job and enjoy it and be on that journey.

"So I felt like I was a WA cheerleader for the last year or so."

This also led to Metcalf exploring the career of coaching, something that previously she was adamant she never wanted to do.

But once announcing she was pregnant she started getting messages on Instagram from teams asking if she would come and coach them, encouraging her to set up Natballers.

Until she was around 38 weeks pregnant, Metcalf would travel across the country on a road trip, "coaching here, there, and everywhere" allowing her to work with young people to improve their netball skills.

Metcalf is one of the 15 Red Roses selected to compete against Jamaica in the two-game Vitality Horizon Series in December, with both games to be played in London.

Vitality Netball Horizon Series schedule in Jamaica

The first two games of the series originally set to be played in Jamaica were cancelled due to the impact of Hurricane Melissa, so the series will now only see two games with both played in London.

Saturday December 13: Copper Box Arena, London
England vs Jamaica, 2.15pm

Sunday December 14: Copper Box Arena, London
England vs Jamaica, 2pm

Times subject to slight change due to broadcast requirements