Saturday 21 April 2018 12:33, UK
Who gets a 'selfish trim'? Who's the nutmeg king? Who practises celebrations too much?
Jesse Lingard is enjoying a good season with Manchester United and England, netting his 13th club goal of the season at Bournemouth on Wednesday night.
The 25-year-old sat down with Soccer AM's Tubes to reveal who's the worst loser, lift the lid on Paul Pogba's hair and why he's got an extra rivalry with some Spurs players over their celebrations ahead of this weekend's FA Cup semi-final...
Who's the biggest joker?
I think I will take that. I'm always up to no good, messing about. I like to put smiles on people's faces. It's not really pranks, it's more having a laugh, taking the mickey out of people…hanging people's clothes up on the roof if they have bad 'garms'.
Who has bad 'garms'?
Matteo's clothes are not my taste. They might be his taste but they don't suit me. He has a Matrix coat that goes down to his ankles. It's his taste, each to their own.
Who's the quickest?
I'd probably say Marcus [Rashford] or Martial, he has sharp feet. Paul [Pogba] said he is faster than me but I can't see it. I told him we can race after training.
If Marcus Rashford and Anthony Martial had a 100m race, who would win?
I think Rashy would nick it. I've not seen Anthony over a long distance but I know Marcus could run 100m quick.
Who's the nutmeg king?
Paul tries, Marcus tries - he doesn't do it but he tries - those are the two. I don't think Paul has ever megged me since he has been at the club. That's a fact.
Who do you reckon will go on to be a future manager?
I think Michael Carrick. He's already starting now and is the most experienced one in the dressing room and leads us very well. I think he will be good as a future manager.
Paul Pogba said he shows him videos to help him, does he do that with you?
Yeah he's been doing it with a lot of players. It's good to have someone in the dressing room who we can go to for tips and advice and he's always there for the younger guys too.
Who's in front of the mirror the most?
Quite a few people have long, slicked back hair. Luke Shaw loves to do his hair, Matteo is there quite a bit too. But Shawy, he's just had his hair dyed so he is always slicking it back.
Who is the dressing room DJ?
Matchday it's Ashley Young with house tracks to get everyone pumped and in the dressing room at the training ground it's a free for all. David will put his Spanish music on, I'll put some music on, Paul will put some French music on. It's all different types of genre.
Who's the best dancer?
I might take that crown. Paul is up there as well, we like to dance in the dressing room. I like to body pop.
Who practises their celebration the most?
We don't practise, it's just natural. The handshakes we work on, I think I have handshakes with nearly everyone in the squad. We will do something and then put a little dance towards the end. Some of them are good, some of them are long! We had quite a few last season and this season we have narrowed it down.
The latest one is a shoot dance, you use one leg and one arm at once. I've seen a couple of other handshakes, they're getting up to our standard. The Spurs one is quite long. They do a little rock, paper scissors in there - me and Dele will do a long one on England duty.
What about the most skilful player?
Rashford has got a lot of skills. Paul has a lot too, it's probably out of them two. I can get the ball off Paul, so you just let him do it in front of you.
How often does Paul Pogba get his hair cut?
Regularly. He'll never message you that a barber's coming, he'll get selfish trims on his own. He says I'm the same though. We use the same barber in Manchester. I'll come in with a haircut and he'll be like: "Selfish trim!" but he doesn't look at his WhatsApp.
Who's the tough nut?
Rojo. Marcos is an animal. Even in training, he's aggressive and strong. It's good though, we need that. He's tatted up and everything. He can't speak much English but he's a nice guy.
Which player is the best singer?
I like to have a dabble sometimes. I like doing it in my car but not otherwise. David belts out a lot of Spanish music and sings a lot, so I'm going to say him. Someone might be holding back, you never know.
Who's a sore loser?
There's a lot of us, in training especially, when we have little games. We have a table of the most losses for the month, and whoever loses has to buy dinner or something like that. I always wind Luke Shaw up if he loses, and when Axel was here he'd wind everyone up. He'd get in your head.
Luke's head goes and I'm just there like: "Shawy!" and he knows I'm coming for him. Chris Smalling can get in your head a lot on the pitch too. If they score he goes for it.
Who's the selfie king?
I do a couple, but I'm not the king. I think some people low-key might do it, but not take it on to Instagram or Twitter. I don't think we've got a crown for it yet.
What's the best one you've ever taken?
Me and Beans, Rashy. It was when I had a little beard, I put up hashtag beard gang, people were telling me to get rid of it. If you'd blown it, it would've blown off.
Why do you call him beans?
Something just triggered one day just to call him Beans. I started calling him Rash beans, or bean sprout. I don't know why, honestly. He doesn't answer to Rashy. He'll call me Jessparagus.
Who's the kitman's nightmare?
Throughout the season, everyone's lockers just get full of everything, but I think everyone's respectful to the kitman. No-one leaves stuff around. You might get the odd sock here and there, in the shower but nothing much. The kitmen do a lot so you've got to respect it.
Who's the cleverest player?
Sometimes I can switch into clever mode. I think Romelu's up there, he knows six languages.
