Injuries stir retired England rugby legend Jonny Wilkinson
Sunday 6 September 2015 08:56, UK
World Cup hero Jonny Wilkinson feels like he is "breaking apart" but is happy to leave his rugby-playing days behind.
Wilkinson's last-gasp drop goal secured World Cup glory for Clive Woodward's England side in Sydney 12 years ago, making them the first and still only world champions from the northern hemisphere.
England's record points-scorer also enjoyed a successful club career, winning a Premiership title and two Anglo-Welsh Cups with Newcastle Falcons and two Heineken Cups and a French Top 14 title with Toulon.
But as he reflects on his glittering achievements in rugby, the 36-year-old attaches more importance to the mental strength drawn from the injuries that hampered his playing days.
"Before I got my injuries I was so tied up with who I was and how important I felt I was," Wilkinson told the Mail on Sunday.
"Deep down, I was attached to winning the World Cup. I was attached to being an England player. That route was getting worse.
"The injuries were a pointer to saying, 'Look, you are going to struggle very, very badly with the end of your career. To the point where, life-wise, enjoyment-wise, you probably won't come back from it'.
"I went through depression in the four years I was injured. I was forced to go through it and when I came out, I still had this opportunity to play rugby again. What happened in that period was obvious because you are in the presence of a hugely greater intelligence that is looking at you and being like, 'This is what you need'.
"I feel like I'm breaking apart in that I don't feel any worth in saying, 'I was a rugby player and I played 18 years as a professional and I played there and I won this...'.
Wilkinson appeared in four World Cups. His debut was a sporadic involvement in 1999 under Woodward before his unforgettable show four years later when he scored 23 points in the quarter-final win over Wales and the extra-time drop goal to secure victory over Australia in the final.
He added: "I'm feeling that life is going on and my appearance has been associated with my historical stuff and that's breaking apart. Recognising myself is becoming more and more difficult but I see that in a positive way.
"I am so lucky and I want to honour that by helping and supporting other people. That's maybe the more lasting thing, that legacy of giving back."
