Bobby Madley: Referee thankful for support through 'dark' time

Referee Bobby Madley has thanked those who supported him during a "dark" period of his life, during which he was diagnosed with a stress-related illness.

The former Premier League ref ceased officiating at the highest level in England in August 2018 and relocated to Norway after being sacked by refereeing body Professional Game Match Officials Limited.

Madley revealed in a blog post on New Year's Eve that he had been sacked for "gross misconduct on grounds of discrimination" after sharing a video in which he appeared to mock a disabled person.

He has since announced his return to England, where he will initially officiate in League One and League Two from the beginning of next season.

Speaking to The Athletic, Madley said: "I haven't gone into detail before about how deep it got for me and how dark it became. I didn't want to do that because I was worried I might be accused of over-dramatising or sensationalising it.

"It got as low as it could. I was hiding something inside. You know you're having a tough time but you're smiling with people and telling yourself you must be all right.

"Then, the moment the lights go out at night, your head comes alive. I'd be sitting up at three in the morning, in tears, thinking about everything, wondering what I could have done differently.

"I'd find myself going on Twitter to look through every post that was about me. I was searching for that one positive line, just one person to say, 'Leave him alone, he's a really nice guy' or 'He doesn't deserve this'.

"It just didn't get better. It was pretty much every night that I'd be up, crying, unable to sleep. It got to the stage where I wasn't feeling well. I was tired all the time. I did a fitness test. I got halfway round and that's the last I remember of it. I woke up in an ambulance."

Madley's collapse was eventually put down to stress and the 34-year-old knew something had to change.

He added: "That was probably the point for me when it got really serious, when I thought, 'I have to do something and I can't keep living this way'."

In a post on his Twitter page on Thursday, Madley wrote: "This is my final Twitter post. It feels like the right piece to leave on.

"Thanks to everyone for your support and for allowing me to explain refereeing from our view. That has been therapy for me as well.

"If you're struggling mentally please talk. Be kind to each other."