QOTW reveals who's been doing a Gordon Brown in the world of sport by scoring verbal own goals.
Who's been saying what in a sporting week of verbal sparring
In a week in which Gordon Brown scored the proverbial verbal own goal the beleaguered PM can at least draw consolation from the fact he's not alone in putting his foot in it. The sporting world are never afraid to shoot from the lip either, so Gordy shouldn't feel too bad about upsetting the odd Rochdale pensioner. At least he didn't call her old.
QOTW remains neutral in its politics though, so here we get back to business by revealing who's been doing a Boris Johnson this week...
"I actually tried on a pair of Speedos but they turned out to be complete budgie crunchers and an absolute no-no." Come on
Bumble - that's just not cricket!
"It was a 24-7 relationship between us. He got homesick a bit because it was probably the first time he had been away from his family, whereas I'd left mine at 16. By the end, we were like a married couple!"
Gareth Barry on Steven Gerrard, aka the new Lemmon and Matthau.
"When I was younger, I remember seeing people with no money buy Ferraris - and then, because of the Ferrari, they would get the best girls!"
Michel Platini blames the Premier League's 'liberalism' for the financial problems at Portsmouth.
"The microwave blew up at the canteen the other day so Paul Gerrard bought a new one out of his own money."
Gary Ablett reveals it's not all Ferraris and glamorous woman at Edgeley Park.
"He pulled at one of our players' undercarriage and he bit others. This sounds more like the kind of treatment players get from female shop-assistants in nightclubs at the weekend than from opposing players on a matchday." Aalesund manager
Kjetil Rekdal gives the Norwegian nightclub industry a short in the arm after one of his players was reportedly bitten by Rosenborg's Anthony Annan.
"I don't know why Glenn Murray took the penalty. I suppose because he is our penalty taker."
Gus Poyet after Brighton striker Murray missed from 12 yards against Gillingham.
"As I have said time and time again, the only thing that determines my staying here is my health and unfortunately for you lot (the media), I'm in rude health! So you'll be left to suffer me for many more years. You'll be gone before I'm gone, don't you worry!"
Sir Alex Ferguson laughs off recent reports he is ready for the pipe and slippers.
"Today it was a match in which I couldn't play, because I would have left my blood."
Jose 'The Translator' Mourinho after masterminding Inter Milan's elimination of Barcelona.
"That is it for the German porn star look, I'm afraid. It's gone for good because my missus just wasn't happy about it. She said she struggled to kiss me, even though she helped me dye the moustache in the first place. But I'll be keeping the mullet, even though I get loads of stick." Coventry midfielder
Aron Gunnarsson agrees to shave off the tache but might still borrow Bumble's Speedos.
"I saw the defender on my left shoulder and I've just Cruyff-ed him and got a yard and put it in the corner."
Billy McKay on scoring for Northampton against Shrewsbury.
Talking about getting carried away...
"It is a fantastic achievement. It's like swimming the Channel, doing the Tour De France and then climbing Everest." Nigel Luther Nelson Adkins reflects on keeping Scunthorpe in the Championship.
"It's hard to motivate yourself at this stage of the season, let alone the players. I had an extra glass of wine the night before the match, an extra fried egg. You do things you don't normally do." QPR boss
Neil Warnock just can't get excited by a trip to Barnsley.
"Selling Neven Subotic is a non-issue. If Manchester United want to have him, they would need to sign over a property of two oil-fields to us. Or at least two big trucks full of packaged pound notes." Borussia Dortmund executive
Hans-Joachim Watzke makes it clear Neven Subotic won't come cheap.
"I'm totally fine with my form. For England, I think my performances have been very good right through the World Cup campaign. And, contrary to what everyone else is saying, my form is fine for Chelsea as well."
John Terry. You keep telling yourself that John, you keep telling yourself....
"To know that I've tested positive as a result of a product that I used for personal reasons is extremely difficult to wrap my hands around."
LaShawn Merritt comes over all Kenneth Williams after conceding he used an over-the-counter male enhancement product.
