World Cup QOTW hears Fabio Capello talk of fatigue and Henry Kissenger bring up the war.
Who's been saying what to whom in South Africa
England's abject failure in South Africa has dominated the back pages, with pundits, hacks, managers, coaches, players and Henry Kissinger all keen to have their say. Fabio Capello looked as if he'd rather watch a Danny Dyer boxset than face the national press earlier this week and struggled to justify his side's performance other than to say most of them were a bit tired. Probably about as tired as the rest of us are with pinning our hopes on a team who in the words of the great philosopher Ian Holloway would 'fall in a barrel of boobs and come out sucking their thumb'.
"The physical situation of players was not like the players we know. I think not only Wayne Rooney but all our players were really tired at this competition."
Capello defends his brave little soldiers on the grounds of fatigue.
"I spoke with Sir David Richards and in the next two weeks we will decide. I said I can be the manager of England next season but we have to decide. I absolutely want to stay." And who wouldn't on £6million a year?
"I am devastated. We just weren't good enough. Plain and simple. We will have to address the problems that are there. It is not for me to talk to you guys about it, but we need to step up. There are a lot of issues."
Joe Cole remains tight-lipped on England's woes. Pretty confident he'll be more forthcoming in his autobiography out in August, which is available in most bargain bookshops in September.
"Many journalists should apologise to the players. I'm not suggesting you drop your trousers, but it would be honest and great so we all get along better."
Diego Maradona suggests a novel way to improve relations between his players and a previously critical media.
"There are so many alpha males in the squad and it is difficult to have so many alpha males and roll in the same direction but you don't only need chiefs, you also need Indians, those willing to do hard work - that may be a problem with England that players aren't mentally prepared to go that extra mile for their team."
Thomas Muller has no shame in kicking a nation when it's down.
"Tonight he's not had a kick, apart from two headers."
Robbie Savage further demonstrates why he's a pundit to be reckoned with.
"They wanted to swap Bentley for Honda but the chairman wasn't having it."
Harry Redknapp does his best Tommy Cooper impersonation after being asked about Japan hot-shot Keisuke Honda.
"If I had asked you to go and watch some player called Wayne Rooney last week, because he was available and I could get him for £1.5 million, you would have come back to me and said, 'You can't take him, he's not good enough'. If you didn't know it was the Wayne Rooney, you would have thought he was a poor player."
Redknapp offers his frank assessment of an out-of-sorts Wayne Rooney.
"If Lamps' goal had stood it would have been 2-2 and then the game would've turned on its head. We'd have been at full throttle. I'm sure we'd have gone on to win it."
Rio Ferdinand, who watched the game at home. Had a few cheeky ones did we Rio?
"Brazil has played the most beautiful football, while Italy has specialised in breaking the hearts of its opponents, and for Germany everyone attacks in a way suggestive of Erich von Falkenhayn's huge flanking movements in World War I - and everyone defends."
Henry Kissinger discusses the history of the World Cup to the
New York Times. Get this man on Super Sunday!
"I don't think I have anything left to do now, probably. It's my responsibility, we did not insist enough. I can not elaborate any further. When I look back at what I could have done for the players and what I did as a head coach I should have been more insistent on winning." Japan coach
Takeshi Okada reveals his side lost to Paraguay because he didn't remind them to win often enough. Simples.
"I think it was a great show, a football feast."
Carlos Quieroz describes the festival of football that was Portugal 0 Brazil 0.
"We are really sorry for the population, for the fans. We underperformed from the first game. We are in the right position, we are out. We deserve it."
Florent Malouda admits he and his team-mates made a grave mistake at the World Cup. It's not like the French to strike...
"I apologised to England and Mexico. The English said, 'thank you' and accepted that you can win [some] and you lose [some], and the Mexicans bowed their head and accepted it."
Sepp Blatter. Can we have a replay of his apology?
"I'm talking about an English manager because this is where we're from, this is our country. We should be able to produce someone who can manage the England football team and let's be honest, they can't do any worse than what they've [Eriksson and Capello] done." 'Arry again. Anyone remember the wally with a brolly?
"Adam Johnson is one. Another is Kieran Gibbs, the Arsenal left-back. Also Dawson. He is not young but he is back. Also we have Agbonlahor and Zamora. Another player I hope will be fit is Hargreaves. Walcott - I hope he can play and recovers, and his back and shoulder will be okay. Wilshere is another interesting player, another good player who we are looking for."
Capello looks to the future and finds a clutch of players he overlooked or didn't play at this World Cup.
"The five involved have been arrested; they pleaded guilty and have been sentenced by a special World Cup court." Wayne Rooney, Glen Johnson, John Terry, Matthew Upson and Robert Green are held in South Africa over crimes against football. Alternatively, it might be the five staff members at England's hotel who helped themselves to clothing, underwear (why?) and a World Cup commemorative medal (presumably inscribed with '2010 World Champion underachievers').
