With football's finishing line in sight the Crew have turned their attentions towards summer sports.
The crew take to the courts while Rocket heads for the river bank
With football's finishing line in sight and the sun shining, this week the Crew have turned their attentions towards summer sports and internal conflict aplenty.
Tennis has, for some reason, been the talk of the office after several of our more sporty members decided it was time to emulate Andy Murray and take to the courts.
The biggest battle was between Dave and Tom. A titanic clash of epic proportions, the pair battled it out for hours before deciding to call it quits at one set apiece. Dave had banked on a demon serve to see him through, but it proved - literally - hit-and-miss, and rallies were, shall we say, few and far between.
Quite why they finished at level pegging, they wouldn't say. It could've been that the sun went down or their mums called them in for their tea, it could be they were both cream-crackered or they could just have decided that fair play should ensue and tennis be the only winner.
Free fare
Actually, the truth probably had more to do with their court hire running out.
No such problem for James, who also took to the courts... for free. On seeing the sun shining he and a mate promptly crossed the road from his house, strolled into the local tennis club and played away for two hours - without paying a penny!
It is no wonder the game in this country is in a mess because the pair of them were reduced to under-arm serves and yet no one from said tennis club batted an eyelid and asked them what they were doing there. Are British tennis players that bad?!
We're not sure what's worse though, James effectively stealing a game or the fact that he is posh enough to have a tennis club down his street!
Sensible
Rocket had the right idea and took to the river bank again for a spot of fishing which, although he still doesn't have a license and we are in no way condoning his behaviour, seems a far more sensible way to while away the summer days.
Chris also took to the great outdoors and spent time with the love of his life, his pride and joy, the apple of his eye... his allotment.
Although he is 40 years younger than your average 'allotmenteer', our green-fingered hero donned his wellies and took up his pitch fork as soon as they sun showed itself, although after a few weeks of neglect his patch was as messy as one of Rocket's Crossbar Challenges.
Quite what was weed and what was plant he wasn't sure, although with Bobbie spending his week in his own words, "eating lots", we can think of at least one person in need of a homegrown salad.
The wholesome activities ended there though, with Steve doing his best to drag things down, claiming he has some hidden camera footage of one of the Crew "doing something embarrassing". Who it was, he wouldn't say. What it was he couldn't or wouldn't say, but our very own Jeremy Beadle did promise it might well see daylight before the season is out. Watch this space!
Battles
And just to prove football is still very much our number one love, we have saved the two biggest battles of the week until last.
Firstly, glancing at the Championship table on Saturday morning you could've been forgiven for thinking the clash between Bristol City and Derby County was one of those end-of-season affairs with little to play for, when some players - and an even larger percentage of the crowd - were, as the cliche goes, on the beach.
Well think again, because Ashley and Dave had a week's wages riding on it! That's right, while the world tries to drag it itself out of recesssion and financial meltdown these two high-rollers of the Coca-Cola League went unashamedly head-to-head, all-in.
And it was Dave who was left celebrating after a Nicky Maynard double gave City the spoils? Maybe he could spend his winnings on tennis lessons. Or a fishing license for Rocket?
Different dimension
Finally, forget Manchester United v Spurs or Chelsea v Stoke, THE game of the weekend was the clash between Weirside Rangers and Max's team. It might not have been screened live in 3D but the football was, we are told, of a different dimension as an enthralling 4-4 draw was played out.
With the points being shared you would expect bragging rights to be equal, hand-shakes and back-pats all round after an honourable draw but of course, it didn't turn out quite like that. Steve claimed supremacy thanks to his hat-trick for Weirside, but Max managed to grab his side's last-ditch equaliser and insists that was the best goal of the day.
We haven't decided whether quality or quantity should prevail, but if the debate rages on much longer all louder, we'll all be following Rocket down to the river bank... to throw ourselves in.
See you on Saturday!
