West Ham v Newcastle

Valon Behrami / Elena Bonzanni (West Ham)

If Valon Behrami could pick a pass like he picks his woman he'd probably be playing for Barcelona. The Swiss stud's ex is none other than World Cup WAGs/Stags favourite Sara Tommasi, a woman whose pet hate is clothes going off the images we unearthed when conducting some vigorous research on the subject. His current squeeze is the equally lovely Elena Bonzanni, an Italian TV presenter with a sideline in modelling. The glamorous couple recently had a child, with Sky Bet making them outside bets to quality for the Europa League. The Hammers duo are definitely ones to watch.

Joey Barton / Amanda Harrington (Newcastle United)

Our scouting team in the North East had a tough time finding a suitably glamorous couple for the Magpies but sources close to the club have revealed bad boy Joey Barton has courted Harrington in the past. The Scouse duo have been spotted stepping out, with Harrington - a former Miss Liverpool at just 16 - certainly not a shy one. She shot to fame, or infamy if you'd prefer, by winning Nuts' Bedroom Babes competition and is a regular in the types of mags that like to keep written content to a minimum. Her calendar has reportedly sold close on 7,000 copies in the UK alone, while she's also proven a hit in America having appeared in two episodes of the Girls of the Playboy Mansion. Harrington's ultimate ambition is to emulate uber-WAG Abbey Clancy by donning next to nowt in Sports Illustrated. Oh, we forgot to mention Barton...he's the midfielder with a rap sheet longer than Snoop Dog's.