Sir Bobby's quip and a Pole's shorts

At least former England manager Sir Bobby Robson did not blame Sven for being lured in by a 'Sheikh' bearing gifts - and hidden microphones.

With our Swedish 

At least former England manager Sir Bobby Robson did not blame Sven Goran Eriksson for being lured in by a 'Sheikh' bearing hidden microphones.

With our Swedish leader sweating it out, Robson admitted that if his new managerial protege, Republic of Ireland coach Steve Staunton, were ever propositioned by a wealthy Arab then he would use his considerable experience to advise that, yes, he really should see what the Sheikh was after - and what's more he would be only too happy to come along for the ride. "I don't know [what I would say] but I'll tell you this I'd go with him," said Robson. Presumably the wily ol' campaigner would also advise Staunton against criticising too many of his star turns.

Short changed...

Tomasz Kuszczak has revealed the secret of his recent heroics between the West Bromwich Albion sticks. A breathtaking save denied Wigan's Jason Roberts a last minute equaliser and confirmed Albion's first away victory of the season and for the Pole, superstition in shorts, it seems, is everything. "Against Everton we won and I kept a clean sheet. I didn't realise until afterwards that I had my shorts on back to front for the entire game. After that I just kept wearing them back to front because it brings me luck. We've had more success since I've done that so I'll keep on doing it!"

Firing blanks...

It is always good to put things into perspective insists Fiorentina's leading Serie A marksman Luca Toni. Toni who was relieved to silence the doubters after his brace against Chievo ended a five-match goalless run for the 17-goal striker. All the talk of a goalscoring crisis got Toni to thinking - just what had his team-mates been up to in his net-bulging absence? "They said I was in crisis. Now I can laugh about it," Toni told Gazzetto dello Sport."At the end of the day I was still top scorer in Serie A and if I was in crisis where did that leave my colleagues who had only scored five times? Should they have gone and shot themselves?"

Don't mention the war...

A spot of German-baiting by a Dutch firm has been condemned by the party-pooping Netherlands Football Association.With preparations in full swing ahead of this summer's World Cup, a Dutch firm thought it would be a novel idea to sell orange headgear modelled on Nazi-style helmets. Clearly the joke was lost on the politically correct authorities: "They claim not to want to emphasise the war, but are achieving the very opposite," said KNVB spokesman Frank Huizinga. "This is clearly not in the spirit of a football tournament." Free Time Products, for their part, believe it would only have been a bit of harmless ribbing. "During the World Cup the playing field is different. We ought to be able to poke a bit of fun at our arch-rivals the Germans," a perfectly reasonable Weno Geerts told De Telegraaf.

Compiled by: Chris Stanton
Next Update: Friday