Saturday 20 May 2017 12:01, UK
From dry pitches to Twitter howlers, sarcasm to cheeky mascots, we bring you Quotes of the Season from the Premier League in 2016/17.
In a season that saw Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho heading up Manchester, Arsene Wenger's future under constant doubt, and more footballers than ever using social media as their mouthpiece, there were plenty to choose from.
Here, we run through the most memorable quotes of the campaign...
"This is not a dream job. This is reality. I am Manchester United manager. The reality is that this is a job that everyone wants and I have it."
Jose Mourinho upon joining Manchester United in the summer. It hasn't been a dream of a start for the Portuguese boss in his first season...
"He had a good performance but it was his body with my brain. He was in front of me and I was making every decision for him."
More Jose, of course. Mourinho criticised Luke Shaw's understanding of the game after the left-back's second-half cameo in a 1-1 draw with Everton in April. After some back and forth, Shaw redeemed himself, and was a matchday starter before his recent injury against Swansea ruled him out for the season.
"I've been watching football for a very, very long time and I don't think I've ever seen a game of football where two teams should come off the pitch and hang their heads in shame."
Sky Sports' Jamie Carragher after Leicester beat Liverpool 3-1 in February. The victory came just days after Leicester had sacked title-winning manager Claudio Ranieri, with speculation circling that the players had forced the Italian boss out of the club. Leicester's display surprised many, while Liverpool's failures didn't go unnoticed either...
"I thought I'd seen it all in football. Come on, mate, get yourself on the pitch, the team needs you. I've never seen anything like it. It's the Premier League!"
Jamie Redknapp slammed Watford defender Christian Kabasele as he was caught off-guard and unprepared to be substituted onto the field in November.
"You're so cool Sparky, I'm glad we didn't sack you..."
A hilarious young mascot greeted Stoke's manager as they arrived for their clash with Manchester United in January. This one was delighted the Potters didn't drop the axe on Hughes after a poor start to the campaign.
[Paul Pogba]: "That's why we bought him."
[Zlatan Ibrahimovic]: "Bought me? I came for free. They bought you!"
Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Paul Pogba after Man Utd's EFL Cup final victory over Southampton in February. Despite Pogba costing United £89m, Ibrahimovic has had the greater impact on Mourinho's side this season.
"I won't be the King of Manchester, I will be the God of Manchester."
Zlatan Ibrahimovic in July upon signing for United. Ibrahimovic arrived in England at the age of 34 with some doubting what impact he could have on the Premier League. He rightly backed himself upon arriving, scoring 28 goals in all competitions.
"Sure, sure, my mistake. I made a big mistake, you are right."
A clearly frustrated Pep Guardiola gave a prickly interview to Sky Sports' Rob Palmer after Manchester City's victory over Burnley in early January. Pep was in no mood to discuss the 2-1 victory, and after Palmer asked whether he should have made fewer changes to his side, the Spaniard sarcastically admitted his mistakes.
"I don't appreciate old team mates telling lies just to stay relevant! It's sad."
Wilfried Zaha hit back at Brede Hangeland after his former Crystal Palace team-mate selected him in a 'Lazy XI' in January.
[October 22]: "Can you tweet something like: Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort by the lads! Hard result to take! But we go again!"
[November 5]: "Can you put something like!' What a result!!! Strong character from the team, and the fans were amazing!! #safc."
Victor Anichebe showed his sense of humour after Sunderland's 2-1 win at Bournemouth in November by posting a tongue-in-cheek tweet. After Sunderland's defeat to West Ham on October 22, Anichebe was criticised for his social media mishap when he copied and pasted a message sent to him on Twitter.
City boss Pep Guardiola talked his way into criticism after a 4-2 defeat at Leicester in December. We knew what he meant (sort of...) but it didn't go unnoticed in the press.
"I am not a coach for the tackles so I don't train the tackles."
The Catalan also explained why he was late for his press conference after City beat West Brom 3-1 in their final home game of the season.
"Sorry I am late, but Tony Pulis is Tony Pulis and red wine is red wine!"
Arsene Wenger sings Rob Holding's praises for his performances for Arsenal during the latter stages of the season.
"Unfortunately no one speaks about the performance of Rob Holding. You should be happy, he is English and 20 years old. I am sorry he didn't cost £55m, so he can't be good."
Wenger on March 18 after Arsenal's defeat at West Brom. Since uttering those four words, the Frenchman has had many Arsenal fans and the world's media on edge, but still we wait for his decision regarding his future at the Emirates...
"You will soon know."
Jurgen Klopp after Liverpool's EFL Cup semi-final defeat at Southampton in January. Then, against the same opponents in May at Anfield, he blamed the dry pitch for a 0-0 draw...
"Today, I know nobody wants to hear it but I'm brave enough to say it, the pitch was really dry. We gave it all the water we had but after 15 minutes it was really dry, the (drying) wind, it was difficult."
Earth, wind and dire excuses...
