Secret agent

Our man on the inside has been a busy boy as he lines up deals for a number of his players.

I think we can safely say the transfer window is well and truly open. Although a recent report from FIFA confirmed the overall amounts paid for players has dropped in recent years, I suspect it will nonetheless be a busy summer in terms of fees exchanging hands. An influx of new owners, when coupled with an even bigger pot of money coming in from the new Premier League broadcasting rights, threatens to ignite what has at times been a stagnant market. Here's hoping. With Reading's Russian owners splashing the cash (Pavel Pogrebnyak won't be on peanuts), Watford attempting to assemble the world's best veteran team and Nottingham Forest awash with petrol dollars, bold takeovers and serious spending are seemingly very much back in vogue. When you add new money to the old established order it makes for interesting times and potentially a buoyant summer window. I won't deny that I've rubbed my hands at the thought of Russian Ruble flooding the market. As for Watford's new moneymen - I've heard about how Italian football club owners like to party so count me in. Bunga bunga! I've been hammering my LinkedIn this week to try and join the dots and get myself an in with all the aforementioned. The local pizza guy follows me on Twitter but I'm not sure he's connected to anyone at Vicarage Road. I'll probably DM him just in case. I've got a list of players longer than a Greek dole queue that I could send across to these clubs. I won't be the only agent thinking the same. That said, putting my football fan hat on (it just about still fits), I really do hope that these clubs don't just bring in the same old players, on the same old ridiculous wages. You can guess half the names that will be touted to any cash-rich club and the reality is that while they might be 'stars', they often carry more baggage than Judith Chalmers. When you scrutinise their CVs further, they really aren't all that. I won't mention any names but they're the playing equivalent of Sven. While on the subject of money for old rope, I've been working with a well-known Eastern European ex-international striker. He's slightly past his prime but by no means shot in terms of scoring goals at a decent level. I had a very good offer from Turkey for this player, who until my intervention had the square root of nothing on the table. The figure quoted for his basic salary was half a million euros - tax free! It's not Zlatan money but he wouldn't go short. To us mere mortals we'd be packing our bags before we'd even got onto the topic of a goal bonus. At the very least I expected a 'Danka' (or whatever 'thank you' is in said Eastern European tongue) for my efforts. The response I got was only one consonant off but not quite what I was looking for. When I relayed the message back to the buying club they laughed, before calling him a greedy bar-steward (the line was crackly) and added he was just 'one fish in a sea of ageing strikers'. I had to agree and promptly gave him a list of more adequate hit-men to choose from! I find it baffling that a player clearly on the downward slope of his career, without a club and destined to spend more time next season on the couch than the pitch, wouldn't even consider an offer below a cool million. He'll be back on the blower come the middle of August I guarantee it. Even back in the real world of football in the lower leagues, players are passing up opportunities of decent employment. Down in Leagues One and Two there