Monday 31 December 2018 08:45, UK
As another year draws to a end, we've done our best to boil it down to the quips and quotes that caught the imagination.
There has been another memorable mixture of inimitable remarks from managers and players alike to break up the more familiar repetitive answers, with the usual suspects responsible for classic one-liners as well as ramblings.
Jose Mourinho features prominently, but Jurgen Klopp and Zlatan Ibrahimovic both return while we also remember Carlos Carvalhal's press conferences during his time as Swansea manager.
So join us for a trip down Memory Lane as we revisit the last 12 months in words...
"We have money for sardines and I'm thinking lobster. I will do my best to try and bring in the best players. I will look to the lobsters and sea bass, but if not we must buy sardines. But sometimes the sardines can win games."
Carlos Carvalhal on Swansea's modest budget going in the January transfer window.
"Because I don't behave as a clown on the touchline, it means that I lost my passion. I prefer to behave the way I am doing it, much more mature, better for my team and myself, I don't think you have to behave like a crazy guy on the touchline to have that passion."
Mourinho makes a less-than-subtle dig at then Chelsea boss Antonio Conte, continuing a long-running feud between the pair.
"It's fair to say I didn't actually eat the worms. It was a bit of banter where you get a nice, big juicy worm hanging out the edge of your mouth as if you're chewing it. Of course the worm comes out and you wash your mouth out with water!"
Sean Dyche, en route to delivering European football to Burnley, denies eating worms is the reason behind his gravelly voice.
"I like night games. Fans can go out in Liverpool afterwards. It's a better time to play football than at 12. I'm hungry at 12."
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp talks about his preference of kick-off times ahead of his club's FA Cup fourth round match against West Bromwich Albion.
"You like the ones at the top. They are so nice and so orange and so round and so full of juice. When you see a tree with amazing oranges at the top of the tree and then you cannot get there and you say, 'I got the lower ones because I don't like the ones at the top'. But you can't get there, so you say 'I don't want to go there' or 'I prefer the other ones'. I think it reminds me a little bit of that story."
Mourinho gives an analogy for the Alexis Sanchez signing.
"It's a bit of parasite football then. They can prey and feed on our mistakes then. I don't blame them for that and they are very good at it. On the break they have quality."
Former Ipswich Town manager Mick McCarthy gives a unique analogy to his opponents' tactics after his side's 1-0 home defeat by Championship leaders Wolverhampton Wanderers.
"I say to the fans that the fans are the fans and have the right to their opinions and reactions but there is something that I used to call 'football heritage'. I don't know if, I try to translate from my Portuguese, which is almost perfect, to my English, which is far from perfect - 'football heritage', what a manager inherits. In the last seven years the worst position of Manchester City in the Premier League was fourth. In the last seven years Manchester City were champions twice and if you want to say three times, they were second twice. That's heritage."
Just a small part of a 12-minute rant from Mourinho after United exit the Champions League to Spanish side Sevilla.
"I remember the first time we played against Arsenal … and even back then, I had a chip on my shoulder. It might sound ridiculous - I was only eight when they let me go - but every time we played them, I thought, 'Alright, we'll see who's right and who's wrong'."
Tottenham forward Harry Kane on how far back the North London derby goes for him.
"He was lucky I didn't take him off again, he only brought one pair of boots with him from England and he was sliding around all over the pitch!"
Former RB Leipzig coach Ralph Hasenhuttl speaking after new loan signing Ademola Lookman came off the bench to score on his debut against Borussia Monchengladbach.
"We have an expression in Portugal at times like we had in the second half. We say it was time to put all the meat on the barbecue. We did that to try to win - and we got the three points. But I felt we deserved it against a strong team and I am very proud of my players."
Swansea boss Carlos Carvalhal on the attacking substitutions that helped engineer a 1-0 win over Burnley.
"Sam has missed training this week. It could have been worse as the cow ran at him for a second time but he managed to get out of the way. He has a sore shoulder so he is getting closely monitored and a lot of treatment as we do not want to go into the game without a goalkeeper on the bench."
Queen of the South assistant manager Dougie Anderson talks about an injury back-up goalkeeper Jack Leighfield sustained on his father's farm.
"Listen, I still have a job to do with Belgium, but it will be a dream for me, Interested? Yes. Who wouldn't be? But I have respect for the man in charge still."
Arsenal's top goalscorer of all time Thierry Henry speaks on Sky Sports about his interest in one day managing his former club.
"Eight months ago I was a bag of bones knelt over a basin being violently sick from the effects of chemo after being diagnosed with cancer for the second time! Last night I ran out at Wembley for Rochdale the club that I hold dear to my heart! Proud of the boys. I owe you."
Rochdale midfielder Joe Thompson shares a moment he will never forget, having beaten cancer twice.
"Messi this message is for you, and it's something you already have to know in advance. You have to go deep, deep inside of you to find all the strength you have inside. Messi, be a warrior."
Some pre-World Cup advice from US Talkshow legend Oprah Winfrey to Argentina's Lionel Messi.
"I feel young. I feel like Benjamin Button. I was born old, and I will die young."
Newly-signed Los Angeles Galaxy forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic during his official presentation press conference.
"Harry Kane is, of course, a very important player for England because he's the best player in the world."
South Korea forward Heung-Min Son gives the highest praise of Tottenham Hotspur team-mate Harry Kane.
"The managing director of marketing and communications has clearly slipped up. The actual question was what do you think of the manager, the players and the staff - and obviously our managing director of marketing is clearly not a great understander of football and how football works, because he is into marketing and branding and market research."
Under-pressure Everton manager Sam Allardyce is left unimpressed by a club survey including questions asking fans to rate his performance.
"I don't feel that that point will help West Brom massively. It feels like a complete waste of points, they don't need it, we would have needed it. They are all happy now, we are not happy. We stay in the league, they don't stay in the league. It's kind of a strange situation. I am a big football fan. You have to to do everything to create the best circumstances for all the boys to deliver. You let the home team decide if they water the pitch or not - it's not only football. It's also dangerous for injuries if the pitch is really dry."
Jurgen Klopp takes West Brom's two-goal comeback against his Liverpool side at The Hawthorns in unusual fashion.
"It was one of the most poignant moments of the night. To receive applause from a stadium like this, which has been graced by great players, is a unique experience. When I was a kid, I liked Juventus and the fact that their fans have clapped me will stay with me."
Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo reacts after being applauded by Juventus's supporters in Turin after scoring with a bicycle kick in his side's 3-0 win in the UEFA Champions League quarter-final, first leg.
"Most of all mate I will miss bumping into you and catching up and I always left your company with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. You will always be 'dangerously well'. They don't make them like you anymore Raymond."
Joe Cole takes to Instagram to pay tribute to Ray Wilkins.
"After careful consideration and following discussions with the club, I feel it is the right time for me to step down at the end of the season. I am grateful for having had the privilege to serve the club for so many memorable years. I managed the club with full commitment and integrity. I want to thank the staff, the players, the directors and the fans who make this club so special. I urge our fans to stand behind the team to finish on a high. To all the Arsenal lovers take care of the values of the club. My love and support forever."
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger announces that he will leave the club after 22 years as manager in a written statement on the club's official website.
"This is more than just watching football, it's a way of life. It's caring about the beautiful game, about the values we cherish, and as well, that something that goes for all our bodies in every cell of our bodies. We care, we worry, we are desperate, but when you come here, the theatre of dreams we realise what it means."
Wenger analyses the philosophy of Arsenal during an emotional speech at the end of his final game at the Emirates in May.
"They have 48 hours and what they say we'll do so we'll go back by coach. Beers? There will be more than one."
Huddersfield Town manager David Wagner speaks after securing the club's Premier League status after a 1-1 draw at Chelsea.
"It's been a pleasure and an honour to defend the badge. I will miss you very much. I came here as a boy and I leave at 34 years of age a man. Thanks to everyone who asked me to stay, you will always be in my heart."
Andres Iniesta says 'farewell' to his boyhood club Barcelona.
"This is a very emotional day for me and I'm here off the back of an extraordinary and wonderful journey, shared with so many people who have cared about me greatly. As a way of reciprocating their faith in and affection for me, I have always tried to do my best. If I feel as strong as I do at the age of 40, that is all thanks to Juventus and the mentality here. My own philosophy is built around that of the club and I shall continue to live my life in that way, as that's the only way I know to achieve results. I shall always be grateful to Juventus."
Gianluigi Buffon says 'goodbye' to Juventus after spending 17 years with the club.
"Right now I have a biological age of 23. I've still got a long time left, I can keep playing until I'm 41. I'm feeling good, happy, I can't complain."
Real Madrid's 33-year-old forward Cristiano Ronaldo speaks on how long he could play for ahead of the UEFA Champions League final.
"I suffered many difficulties to make my dreams come true but I have no intention of forgetting them because they made me the person I am now."
Iran goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand reflects on making it to the World Cup finals.
"This is the right moment for everyone, it might seem a bit strange, but it had to be done for the good of everyone, the players, the club, and myself. This team must keep winning, and it needs a change after three years, another voice, another method of working. I think it would be difficult to keep winning if I stayed."
Zinedine Zidane announces his departure as head coach of Real Madrid.
"There is no fight to be Brazil's national team top scorer. I think it's just numbers. They are my idols, those who were here before me, and when it comes to idols, I will never be better than them. So I respect each one of them, Romario, Zico, Ronaldo, Pele... because they are my idols. It's just numbers. I'm happy to help my team, to score goals, but I don't want to be better than them and neither will I be. Each one has their own history and knows their importance in the team. I'm very happy for the goals."
Brazil forward Neymar on the chance of becoming his country's top goalscorer.
"That it's my last one makes it special and different. I try not to have the last World Cup in my head, but to face it as if I were the first - or what it is: a very nice challenge. I do not get tired from the goodbyes, I just try to enjoy every moment. I try to taste it because, after so much time, it is still exciting to live these moments."
Spain playmaker Andres Iniesta on making Russia 2018 a memorable moment in an illustrious career.
"Ours is not a sport but a game. Anybody who plays a game started doing it as a child for fun and the child in us must be nurtured because this often makes us the best. To create play that is fun is the first thing to obtain a style for a high-level squad."
Maurizio Sarri talks about his philosophy on the game in his first press conference as Chelsea manager.
"This kind of offer you do not refuse. It will be my honour to come to Croatia. After the match, I feel connected with your country and I was supporting you in the World Cup final."
AFP photographer Yuri Cortez accepts an invitation by the Croatia National Tourist Board (HTZ) to visit the country after he captured Croatia's goal celebrations in their semi-final win over England at Russia 2018 while being crushed by Mario Mandzukic and his team-mates.
"We used to play in the streets wearing a Liverpool shirt. My dad had a love of Liverpool back then when I was 11 or 12 years old. I wanted to be like [Steven Gerrard]. It couldn't be anyone else. He was always the boss of the team."
Midfielder Naby Keita, who moved to Liverpool this summer, on his long-time admiration of the club.
"I wouldn't go as far as to say I didn't want to play again but, I didn't want to see a ball, or to see any more football played. I was in mourning, I was really sad about it, but sadness passes. I have my son, my family, my friends and they don't want to see me moping around. I've got more reason to be happy than sad."
Brazil forward Neymar reflects on his team's 2-1 quarter-final defeat by Belgium at Russia 2018.
"Thank you for the support over the years. My last day as a football but one I am happy and grateful for. Thanks to everyone to do with Wolves and everyone in football I have met. My health is my main thing. I just want to be here for my children, family and friends. In the grand scheme of things, with your life in danger, it's a minimum price I have to pay to spend the rest of my time with my family."
Wolves and Nigeria goalkeeper Carl Ikeme, who was diagnosed with acute leukaemia last year and recently said he was in "complete remission" after "a tough year and intense chemotherapy", announced his decision to retire from the game.
"The champions are Manchester City and they didn't lose any player and brought in [Riyad] Mahrez so they are not weaker. We saw the [Community Shield] game against Chelsea and both sides were impressive. We are still Rocky Balboa and not Ivan Drago. We are the ones who have to do more and fight more. That must be our attitude."
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp insists his side are underdogs to win the 2018/19 English Premier League title.
"Mendy is Mendy. In the terms that it is what it is. Sometimes you want to kill him. Sometimes you say, 'Wow, what a player we have.' He gives us this extra energy with Kyle (Walker) with him, that helps us, you know? When he attacks that consistency is so important. Mendy has a lot of things to improve. Hopefully we can convince him to be calm and to forget a little bit the social media and focus on what he has to do."
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola speaks about left-back Benjamin Mendy following his side's 2-0 victory over Arsenal (Mendy responded to his boss... on social media).
"You can have a fantastic movie while respecting others. You don't need to be disrespectful to have a fantastic movie. You can be a rich club and buy the best players in the world but you cannot buy class and they showed that clearly, that was really obvious."
Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho accuses Manchester City of a lack of class after the airing of their behind-the-scenes documentary 'All or Nothing'.
"I daydream. I daydream all the time about just big things. One of my biggest things has always been to play for Manchester United, so I think that could be one of my biggest dreams. You can't get any bigger than that. Even if it's just for five games or one game, it would be a dream come true because, as I've said, I'm a massive fan. This is a start and I'm really appreciative of everything the Mariners have done. They've given me an opportunity to make my mark, to start here, and I'm very happy and I want to thank you guys for that. I look forward to scoring as many goals and to bringing home the trophy."
Jamaican world record sprinter Usain Bolt speaks in a press conference as he embarks on a trial with Central Coast Mariners.
"This [holding three fingers up]. 3-0, 3-0. Do you know what this is? 3-0. But it also means three Premierships and I won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together. Three for me and two for them two. So respect man, respect, respect, respect."
Under-fire Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho answers his critics.
"Goals for are vitamins, goals against are an overdose of fatigue."
Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho speaks after his side's 3-0 defeat by Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford.
"To play in League One in every game when I was 18 was massive for my development. It's something I'm very proud of. I have great memories and it was a great experience. If it didn't happen for me back then, I probably wouldn't be where I am now."
Defender Harry Maguire on his journey from England's third tier to being a regular in the Three Lions line-up, speaking at a press conference.
"I am happy for Toronto because they will be remembered as my 500th victim."
LA Galaxy forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic after scoring the 500th goal of his career.
"You always have dreams when you start playing football. I'm the type of person who always wants to be the best, so it's only natural that I dreamed one day I would come this far, and thanks to God here I am now. It's what I've worked so hard for. I pushed myself and believed in myself, even in difficult times. I've also made it this far thanks to my team-mates, my family and my friends."
The Best FIFA Men's Player 2018 winner Luka Modric speaks in an exclusive interview with FIFA.com after the awards ceremony.
"I think he is the present but above all, he is the future. He is the future of football. He is the after-Cristiano Ronaldo, the after-[Lionel] Messi. He is an exceptional player."
Former France forward David Trezeguet on Kylian Mbappe's potential.
"I have learned that the biggest stars and the greatest players are the most humble ones, the ones who respect people the most. There are three criteria: respect, humility and lucidity. My mother has always told me that to become a great football player, you must be before all a great man."
Kylian Mbappe, winner of the FIFA Young Player Award at Russia 2018, in an interview with Time Magazine.
"The lowest point in my non-league career came when I was a teenage substitute for Workington Reds in a game at Blyth Spartans, and some kids started throwing eggs at me and the other subs when we were warming up. My life now in the Premier League, where we get treated ridiculously well as players, feels like I am in a different universe."
Brighton frontman Glenn Murray reflecting on his rise from England's non-league to Premier League.
"Now I'm talking to Thierry Henry saying: 'I'm coming for you' on 175! I'm laughing saying it to him but, deep down, inside he knows I'm dead serious!"
Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku tells Thierry Henry that he aims to break the Frenchman's record of 175 Premier League goals.
"It was a beautiful feeling. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get in the box and score goals and it's my position to score goals so I need to keep going. It meant a lot, it's been three years without scoring so it meant a lot."
Raheem Sterling talks with Sky Sports after ending his England goal drought.
"Mr. Bonucci and Mr. Chiellini could go to Harvard University to give classes about how to be a central defender. Fantastic, absolutely fantastic. It is a team that has everything - they have talent everywhere, all over the pitch. So it was a really difficult match for us."
Following their UEFA Champions League defeat to Juventus, Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho praised the performances of the Italian club's centre-back pairing of Leonardo Bonucci and Giorgio Chiellini during his post-match press conference at Old Trafford.
"Playing football has not been at the front of our minds this week. But for this weekend, and all the matches thereafter, we play to honour a man who did so much for our club. The result is not important, but our desire, our actions to give our best on the pitch to honour our chairman, is the most important thing. I'm confident after I saw my players at training that they can give their best."
Leicester City manager Claude Puel talks about playing the club's first match since owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha died in a helicopter crash, along with four others, outside King Power Stadium.
"Glenn Hoddle is someone I admire a lot. He wore the colours of Monaco. I always remember that Manu (Emmanuel) Petit and Arsene (Wenger) always told me he was the most talented player they'd ever seen. I saw videos. I've often been told about his ball control, his movement, his magnificent goals, his love for the game. I know very well what he represents in the world of football and especially for Monaco. I think the whole club has been affected by what has happened to him."
Monaco head coach Thierry Henry pays tribute to Glenn Hoddle after the 61-year-old suffered a heart attack last Saturday - Hoddle is reported to be 'responding well' to treatment.
"It's a shame because you want it to be a fitting tribute to an outstanding player, who I think has often been undervalued in terms of how well he played for England. Hopefully, by the time we get to the game, and him being with us next week, the focus will be on 'actually, let's think about what he did and how well he played, and there's an opportunity here to thank him for that'."
England coach Gareth Southgate expresses his disappointment over the criticism to call up Wayne Rooney for his 120th and final appearance with England next week.
"You know, I don't know [how I played on last season] and I ask myself that sometimes. Maybe it was a form of release when I was out on the field, where you would just put things to one side. You could forget what was happening and enjoy being on the pitch."
Manchester City midfielder David Silva reveals the challenge he had in playing last season, while his baby son Mateo fought for his life after being born prematurely last December.
"Was it hard to refuse Barca? It was very difficult. You have Barca who wants you, who calls you, who sends messages. But then there is the club where you are, where you are an important player and where they build a project around you. [And] subconsciously, being Messi's lieutenant may have played a part. It was really complicated times, especially for my wife, where I woke her up at 3am to talk about it!"
Antoine Griezmann explains his decision to stay at Atletico Madrid, amid interest from Barcelona.
"Ronaldo takes the penalties. After he's scored that one against us (while playing for Real Madrid) in the 93rd minute at 139km/h, am I supposed to let somebody else do that? He has to do something to be forgiven. He's got to take penalties and score… always."
Juventus head coach Massimiliano Allegri explains his rationale for assigning Cristiano Ronaldo as the club's penalty taker.
"Since I don't compete anymore, I get a trophy every week. How stupid was I not to understand earlier?" - Former Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger speaks after winning the League Managers Association's lifetime achievement award
"The save Allison made, I have no words for that, that was of course a life-saver, I am really proud. There are lot of things he can do. Calm with the ball, helping with our build-up situation, outstanding on crosses. And that save was just incredible."
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp reacts to goalkeeper Alisson Becker's late save against Napoli that helped his side progress to the UEFA Champions League knockout stage.
"I have been immensely proud to wear the badge of Manchester United since the first day I arrived, and I believe all United supporters recognise this. Just as was the case with my previous clubs, I have worked with some wonderful people and I believe that some will be my friends for life. I know that you are all aware of my professional principles. Each time a chapter is closed I show my deepest respect and I don't make any comments about my former colleagues.
"I hope the media will also respect my position and let me live my normal life until the moment I decide to return to football. Merry Christmas."
Jose Mourinho's statement following his sacking as Manchester United manager.
"Our only motivation was remembering the nonsense that Arsenal posted after the game a few weeks ago. Players that have only played 10 games for Arsenal were getting ahead of themselves. We used that in a positive way. It's karma. They fully deserve what they got. We had the motivation of getting to the semi-final, so we're over the moon. But the cherry on top was silencing them after remembering how they celebrated like they had won the league. We've put that result right. We'll see where they are come the end of the season and we'll see where we are."
Tottenham defender Danny Rose said his side enjoyed "silencing" their rivals after their Carabao Cup quarter-final win over Arsenal.
