Tuesday 31 July 2018 17:25, UK
Chelsea Women's manager Emma Hayes says the pain of losing one of her twin babies will live with her forever.
Hayes announced she was pregnant in December 2017 but one of the twins she was expecting did not make it past the third trimester.
She gave birth to a baby boy in May but told Sky Sports News, in an exclusive interview, that having to deal with losing her other child put things in perspective for her.
"Throughout all of that period, I learnt to really value what was important," Hayes said.
"I knew I had an unhealthy child, mainly after about the 20th week, so I knew I was battling against it. I did that privately because I think it's important that the team don't deal with that burden - that's my responsibility.
"But I'm grateful for everything I've got and I think that's part of my working-class background.
"I've always been like that but, even more so now, I value life as a result of it, and losing a child maybe five weeks from giving birth will live with me forever."
Hayes missed her team win the Women's Super League title after she was advised by doctors not to travel to their game at Bristol City - which they won 2-0 to seal the league.
They also won the FA Cup and reached the Champions League semi-finals, and the achievements have seen Hayes nominated for The Best FIFA Women's Coach 2018 award.
And Hayes says the attitude of her players and the way they responded to her tragic news is a real testament to their character.
"They didn't know until, I think, a couple of days before the last two or three games of the season," she added.
"I said to the players I don't want you to read about it in the press - that's important to me, but here's the situation.
"I could just see the shock on their faces, more out of sadness, they knew I'd gone through a difficult time.
"A few of them had told me that when they got into the Bristol game, they were adamant they wanted to finish the season there because they knew I was going in to give birth two, three days later.
"I feel grateful that I did tell them because as a result, that extra pressure spurred them on and it's funny because when I watched the Bristol game at home it was the first time in my career I didn't want to be at the game.
"Firstly because I was ready to pop, but also because I felt like they could take care of it and I was so blessed last year.
"I had a group of players whose accountability and responsibility to each other was probably the best I've faced in my career."
