Thursday 17 December 2015 20:54, UK
Christmas spirit has been in short supply living on our tour bus, but we made some hot chocolate and cosied up to watch Home Alone last night as we travelled from Hull to Wolverhampton.
It's an absolutely fantastic Christmas film. The scene when Marv is slipping on the ice as he's trying to get in the house is hilarious. The soundtrack is also fantastic. "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock." Tune.
It should have lifted my Christmas spirit, but it's made me feel a bit sad. The old bottom lip was going when Kevin was reunited with his family. I feel his pain. I've got no family around me at the moment as I've just got Lewis, our digital media man, and Kim, slaughtering me all day sat on the back of a bus.
This Kim character is supposed to be my wife, but I woke up next to someone masquerading as the one I love this morning. She looked like my wife, sounded like my wife, but wasn't acting like my wife. This woman had a right bee in her bonnet.
In the middle of the night she woke me up to use the toilet. It's in a different compartment to our cave. There's a door, which can be locked, that separates the two.
I needed it too, so I went first and she held the door open for me. I then tagged her in but as I was half-asleep, I went back to bed with my ear plugs in and the door locked behind me.
Kim was locked in the nether zone of the bus but couldn't bang on the door as she would have woken up our fellow bus buddies, who were sleeping in the bunks. She was stuck out there for 10 minutes until I finally heard her squeals. She had a face like thunder.
Lewis found it hilarious this morning, but if she's going to carry on like this, she can jog on. We'll drop her in the middle of Birmingham somewhere!
With tension in the air, we were walking through the supermarket this morning (yes, once again, I've never been so happy to see one) and they were selling Christmas jumpers with 'Keep The Change, You Filthy Animal' printed on them. I was like a kid at Christmas but they only had XL size. My bottom lip was going again.
Kim had eyes for a purchase too. She's got - as she puts it - "a gnome fetish". It's probably explains why she decided to marry me!
Our house is full of them. People actually come to our house and leave them outside our door for us. We've got 10 gnomes in and around our house at the minute but I wasn't in the mood for purchasing another one. This one cost £35! No chance. It was too similar to the one at home - we don't need two of the gormless things looking at you when you're trying to live your life. One is quite funny, but 11 gnomes it's just too far.
Back to the football, and last night's game - number six of 10 - was another enjoyable match. However, I wasn't happy with Chuba Akpom, who got substituted and went off in a hump, completely disrespecting his manager.
Akpom needs to learn from that. I would advise him to watch his performance back. His movement isn't good enough off the ball. Ian Wright was a master at it and Akpom needs to improve that side of the game. If I was him I'd be working on that side of his game rather than throwing your toys out of the pram.
He should use Kevin Phillips as an example. Kev never wasted any emotion as he knew he was going to score when he was given his chance. He didn't moan that he was on the bench. Akpom is impatient and petulant. Son, you need to get rid of that if you want to be a goalscoring machine.
Talking of goals, how unlucky was my charity bet last night? I tipped a substitute to score and all three subs were sniffing around waiting to bang one in late on, but Jake Livermore stole the glory! It was almost a great call.
There's plenty of individual quality on show in tonight's game between Wolves and Leeds, so I fancy someone to score direct from a free-kick at 10/1.
Let's hope he fires us to some profit!
Read all of Ollie's diaries - as well as plenty more news, interviews and features - at www.skysports.com/10in10
